Generally, if one goes as part of a large group then they can dictate the mode of dress and it changes the entire venue.
I remember years ago visiting the water park at Kibbutz Chafetz Chayyim in Israel. It was a fun place for children. There obviously were no issues of tzniyus – modesty.
In Mesilas Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto opens with the following statement: “Man was created only so that he enjoys the pleasures that G-d offers.”
We are not monks who are proscribed from enjoying the pleasures of this world. In fact, the Talmud (Jerusalem Talmud, end of Kiddushin) tells us that in the future we will have to give an accounting for all those permitted pleasures of which we did not enjoy.
Obviously since modest dress for women is crucial, if there is no way to satisfy that need, due to the presence of the general public, then better not to go.
An old adage that I heard is “why does Elul come after the summer?” In order to do teshuva – to repent for all that one transgressed during the summer.
– Rabbi Yaakov Klass is chairman of the Presidium of the Rabbinical Alliance of America; rav of Congregation K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush, Brooklyn; and Torah editor of The Jewish Press. He can be contacted at [email protected] and [email protected].
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If we’re talking about an all one-gender situation, then there is no problem. So, if the water park is rented out and it is all men or all women, there is certainly no issue; in fact, it’s a fine idea.
I’m guessing, based on this question, that someone might be asking about a mixed situation. It should go without saying, that it is absolutely forbidden, there is no excuse, and no reason whatsoever that would justify an Orthodox Jew going to a mixed gender situation like that. Certainly, for a man, it would be strictly forbidden, and even for boys under bar mitzvah age it would be highly highly inappropriate. Maybe up to the age of three or four a woman can take her son, but once the child reaches even six or seven years of age, it would be extremely unrecommended to take the young boy to such an event, as the child forms images and understandings at a young age. Certainly, once the boy is eight or nine or so, it would be absolutely forbidden.
In that sense, any woman who would take her sons to such a situation doesn’t even begin to recognize the damage that she is doing to that boy, to that boy’s future marriage, and to all of the issues that she is going to cause. Unfortunately, women are very naïve about this and they assume that their boys are innocent and they’re not going to look, and it’s very naïve and totally lacking in understanding of human dimension.
When the Torah warns us against these types of things it’s because it really is damaging and destructive to a person’s health, happiness, well-being. The simplest proof of this is the divorce rate in the U.S. We live in a very open society where anything goes, and we see where it leads to.
I would highly caution any Orthodox Jew, or any intelligent person to keep their children away from such damaging situations.
– Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier is founder of The Shmuz and author of 10 Really Dumb Mistakes That Very Smart Couples Make (available at theshmuz.com).
