What we know about Tzipporah, the wife of Moshe, is learnt from snippets here and there in the Torah, embellished by Midrashim and the Gemara.
We first encounter Tzipporah in parshat Shemot (2:21) when Moshe flees Egypt to Midyan and rescues the daughters of Yitro from the other shepherds at the well. Yitro gives his daughter Tzipporah to Moshe as a wife.
The second mention of Tzipporah in the Torah is two chapters later, Shemot (4:24), when Moshe returns to Egypt on G-d’s behest to redeem Am Yisrael. Before reaching Egypt, Moshe stops off at an inn on the way and G-d wants to kill him for not circumcising his son Eliezer. Tzipporah saves the day by performing the brit milah.
In this week’s parsha we hear about Tzipporah for the third time when Yitro reunites with Moshe and brings Tzipporah and Moshe’s two sons with him.
The final mention of Tzipporah in the Torah is the incident of Miriam slandering Moshe that he separated from Tzipporah (Bamidbar 12:1).
Getting back to this week’s parsha, In the first seven pasukim there are no less than three references to Moshe’s wife. Interestingly, the Torah does not say that Moshe hugged Tzipporah at this reunion. The pasuk says that Moshe went out to greet his father-in-law, not Tzipporah.
What is going on here? Who was Tzipporah? What was her true relationship with Moshe?
To get a little perspective, we need to examine Tzipporah’s origins – Midyan. Who was Midyan?
After the Akeidah and after Sarah died, the Torah tells us how Avraham remarried Hagar and one of the sons born from this union was Midyan.
Avraham’s dominant attribute was chesed, kindness. Every attribute, regardless of how positive it is, unless it is channeled, can be destructive – even chesed. In Mincha of Yom Kippur we read from parshat Acharei Mot of a forbidden relationship between a brother and a sister, referred to as chesed. Unchanneled chesed leads to licentiousness. Until the Akeidah Avraham’s chesed was unchanneled. After the Akeidah however, Avraham’s attribute of chesed became channeled by Yitzchak’s attribute of gevura, symbolizing the Torah.
Midyan was born after this, so Midyan inherited the attribute of “channeled chesed” from Avraham. How did this manifest itself? Midyan, being a descendent of Avraham became the “elite” of the goyim, representing a “civilized” cultural approach, as opposed to the “uncivilized,” wild approach of Yishmael, who was born to Avraham before the Akeidah, before Avraham’s chesed became channeled.
Midyan therefore embody a double-edged sword. On the one hand, being descendants of Avraham with the attribute of controlled chesed, they are attracted to Am Yisrael, out of love. On the other hand, they are not Am Yisrael and do not have our Torah values – so they potentially pose a threat. In contemporary terms it can be compared to those goyim who love Am Yisrael and want to be associated with Am Yisrael. On the one hand this association can be positive, via converting to Judaism and becoming part of Am Yisrael.
On the flip side, the dangerous side, they can cause Am Yisrael to assimilate with them – wanting for us to be like them, out of love, not animosity. We see this dangerous flip side when Bilam advised Balak to corrupt Am Yisrael with the daughters of Midyan, causing them to assimilate and sin.
Midyan have a natural affinity to Am Yisrael, so it is not surprising that Tzipporah was attracted to Moshe, but it developed into something beyond that. She converted and became part of Am Yisrael and part of her husband Moshe and his nation’s destiny. As a result, she merited Ruach HaKodesh. When Moshe returned to Egypt and they were at the inn, it was Tzipporah who saw, with Ruach HaKodesh, what the solution was.
There is a dispute in Chazal whether Moshe’s reunion with Yitro and his family took place before or after Matan Torah. According to the opinion that Yitro came after Matan Torah, it becomes clear why Moshe did not embrace Tzipporah. In order to merit the level of prophecy that Moshe achieved, he had to physically separate from his wife.
Did Tzipporah accept this out of her love for Moshe? It appears that she did, but it left a scar. After the incident of Eldad and Medad who began prophesying, the Midrash Tanchuma (Tzav, 13) quotes Tzipporah saying how bad she felt for Eldad and Medad’s wives, as their husbands would now have to separate from them as Moshe did from her.
Did Moshe still love Tzipporah? It was not outwardly apparent that Moshe had separated from Tzipporah. What Moshe felt in his heart, we don’t know. Moshe as leader and prophet was required to separate from her physically, but no mention is made of the emotional relationship they shared.
The term Isha Kushit, a “dark skinned woman” (Bamidbar 12:1) is explained by Chazal not as a term of detriment, but of praise. The Gemara (Moed Katan 16b) explains the term to mean an elevated level of chassidut, aspiring to a higher standard of behavior. The Yalkut Shimoni (Yehoshua, 1) lists several female converts, who achieved a level of chassidut, including Tzipporah.
We cannot possibly understand the burden of responsibility of a leader of the stature of Moshe Rabbeinu or the personal sacrifices that such a position entailed and the repercussions on the family members. What we do know unquestioningly is that Tzipporah was a tzaddikah who merited Ruach HaKodesh and unquestioningly supported Moshe in everything that he did, every step of the way, despite the personal cost.
Parshat HaShavua Trivia Question: What was the clincher that caused Yitro to convert?
Answer to Last Week’s Trivia Question: What does it mean that Am Yisrael left Egypt “Chamushim” (Shemot 13:18)? Rashi gives two explanations – either they left “armed” – with weapons, or only one “fifth” of Am Yisrael left Egypt – the rest died in the plague of darkness. Sefer Meir Panim says if you switch the letters of the word, you get “Smeichim,” which means they left in joy!
