Dear Ayman,
Why can’t we be more like Hamas and Fatah? I mean Hamas and Fatah blow people up in café’s and so do we. Hamas calls for Islamic law and controls territory where they implement it, and so do we. Hamas and Fatah recruit children and so do we. But the European nations insist we’re different – they pay Hamas and Fatah lots and lots of money but they don’t pay us unless we kidnap their citizens. The only difference I see is that Hamas and Fatah have lost their momentum and we haven’t. What am I missing – what do we need to do to get European aid?
Hopeful in Homs
Dear Hopeful,
The Europeans fund Hamas and Fatah for the one difference you’ve neglected to point out. They only try to kill Jews, but we try to kill everybody who doesn’t submit. Give it a few years. The Europeans will end up being more agreeable.
Ayman
Dear Ayman,
Why do we kill so many Muslims?
Conflicted in Kashmir
Dear Conflicted,
The most dangerous people who those who should know better and still disagree.
Ayman
Dear Ayman,
I’m worried that we don’t have enough friends. Sure we have allies, but only like 40% of the people actually support us before we conquer and only like 10% afterwards. Is it enough?
Frightened in Fallujah
Dear Frightened,
Our undying global Islamic empire is inevitable. After all (at first) the Nazis only had 10% and the Communists only 5% but it worked for them, right?
Ayman
Dear Ayman,
Will the protests in Paris hurt us?
Muddled in Maiduguri
Dear Muddled,
Protests only hurt those who want others to like them. We know better.
Ayman