{Originally posted to author’s website, Emes Ve-Emunah}
By now it is fairly common knowledge that non-Orthodox Jews are abandoning Judaism in unprecedented numbers. The oft quoted Pew study statistic of 70% of non Orthodox Jews marrying out tells us this story. That is bad enough. But what about Jews that were raised in Orthodox families that are leaving in numbers far greater than anyone knows or cares to admit? It may not be 70%. But the numbers must be huge.
If I recall correctly studies have shown that there are more people leaving Orthodoxy than are coming in. Kiruv programs have been successful in bringing to observant vast numbers of Jews not raised in observant families. I’ll bet that there is not an Orthodox Jew anywhere in the world that does not know at least one person from a non Orthodox background that has become observant. We call them Baal Teshuvos or BTs. But I don’t really like that term. Should we not all be Bal Teshuvos? …ridding ourselves of sinful behavior?
I prefer not call them anything but observant Jews. No other label need be. But I digress. The point being that there are probably even more Jews from Orthodox families that decide to do abandon their beliefs and thereby observance. These are not bad people. But for a variety of reasons could no longer remain in the world in which they were raised. In some cases it is physical abuse. In some case sexual abuse, in some it is emotional abuse. It could be something as simple as not being motivated by what they learn in school. Or having untreated ADD or ADHD. Or maybe they are just indifferent to the Chinuch they get. Or have personality quirks.
Perhaps a feeling that they are being ignored in favor of the top students in the class. Even parents can be unwittingly guilt of not paying sufficient attention to a child. Especially in big families. And even more-so when one child gets an undue amount of attention for good or bad that draws attention away from a child that needs it and doesn’t get it. And in still others it is not having serious questions about God and religion answered. It could be any one or combination of these and other reasons.
Is there anyone that is doing anything about that? There are tons of Kiruv organizations, many of them highly successful. Chabad and NCSY – just to name 2 of them more successful ones. But can anyone name a single organization that reaches in? That deals with Orthodox children are turned off from Judaism.
There are some people that indeed are trying. Allison Josephs is one of them. But even a person as talented and dedicated and she is, cannot do it alone. How many people know at least one person from an observant family that left observance. I know several. And that’s without even thinking about it too hard.
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is one person who cares. And he is someone that acts. I am pleased to host a few words by him and a link to a survey he devised that will help him better understand why people leave observant Judaism.
Rabbi Horowitz is a unique individual in the sense that he thinks out of the box and at the same time has the ears of many of the rabbinic leaders of the Agudah Moetzes. I urge everyone to take this survey. His words follow: The last time that you cancelled a credit card, you probably received a phone call from a representative of the company within a week or so. The individual asked you why you took your business elsewhere and if there is anything he/she can do to encourage you to reconsider your decision to sever your ties with their company.