Urgent Alert
I am very hesitant to inform you of this. However, I must.
As a rabbi, I must carry out my rabbinical duties.
Since many of you were going away for Pesach, you asked me to sell your entire home to the non-Jew of my choice so you wouldn’t have to clean for Pesach.
This year I sold your Chometz and your homes to Mr. Lo Yehudi, a former Californian.
As many of you know, California has the highest number of homeless people, with over 150,000 homeless individuals.
This is, of course, a very tragic situation.
Mr. Lo Yehudi has recently contacted me regarding those homes he legally acquired.
As is his right, he has decided to resettle 1,500 homeless Californians in your homes.
This Thursday afternoon, seventy-five homeless people will move into each of your “sold” homes.
As Lo Yehudi owns the homes, he will be placing extra mattresses all over your former homes.
He will pack in as many homeless people as needed.
For those of you who sold just the Chometz and not the house:
He has informed me that he will begin raiding your Chometz pantry tonight.
He is coming at midnight to clean you out of all of your Chometz, wherever it is in your house.
He particularly asked if you could show him your alcohol collection as he wants to greet the homeless people with a toast to their new homes.
Mr. Lo Yehudi will be assisted by his crew of homeless helpers who will eat and drink anything and everything you sold to him.
He wishes to thank the Jewish community for allowing him to house and feed so many homeless people for just a few dollars.
Some of you have sold your home except for one room you kept to check.
No need to worry; Mr. Lo Yehudi has informed me that the homeless people will be more than happy to have you live with them in the one room of your former home.
For those of you who sold your entire home:
Please make other living arrangements as the sale to Mr. Lo Yehudi was legally binding and permanent.
Please don’t come crying to me; you decided to sell your homes and Chometz.
It is wonderful to know that this year, your Mechiras Chometz was done in a real and binding fashion?
As you look for a new place to live when you return after Yom Tov, be B’Simcha.
Although you are now homeless, you know that you have truly rid yourself of all of your Chometz.
It is wonderful to know you did Mechiras Chometz with 100% seriousness!
You can pitch a tent on the grass in front of the Shul until you find another place to live.
However, forget about your former home. It will be filled with wonderful homeless people who I am sure will want to stay permanently in their new lodgings.
That is the beauty of Yiddishkeit; we are Moser Nefesh to do Hashem’s Mitzvahs.
Wishing you all much success in finding a new house.
I am very hesitant to inform you of this. However, I must.
As a rabbi, I must carry out my rabbinical duties.
Since many of you were going away for Pesach, you asked me to sell your entire home to the non-Jew of my choice so you wouldn’t have to clean for Pesach.
This year I sold your Chometz and your homes to Mr. Lo Yehudi, a former Californian.
As many of you know, California has the highest number of homeless people, with over 150,000 homeless individuals.
This is, of course, a very tragic situation.
Mr. Lo Yehudi has recently contacted me regarding those homes he legally acquired.
As is his right, he has decided to resettle 1,500 homeless Californians in your homes.
This Thursday afternoon, seventy-five homeless people will move into each of your “sold” homes.
As Lo Yehudi owns the homes, he will be placing extra mattresses all over your former homes.
He will pack in as many homeless people as needed.
For those of you who sold just the Chometz and not the house:
He has informed me that he will begin raiding your Chometz pantry tonight.
He is coming at midnight to clean you out of all of your Chometz, wherever it is in your house.
He particularly asked if you could show him your alcohol collection as he wants to greet the homeless people with a toast to their new homes.
Mr. Lo Yehudi will be assisted by his crew of homeless helpers who will eat and drink anything and everything you sold to him.
He wishes to thank the Jewish community for allowing him to house and feed so many homeless people for just a few dollars.
Some of you have sold your home except for one room you kept to check.
No need to worry; Mr. Lo Yehudi has informed me that the homeless people will be more than happy to have you live with them in the one room of your former home.
For those of you who sold your entire home:
Please make other living arrangements as the sale to Mr. Lo Yehudi was legally binding and permanent.
Please don’t come crying to me; you decided to sell your homes and Chometz.
It is wonderful to know that this year, your Mechiras Chometz was done in a real and binding fashion?
As you look for a new place to live when you return after Yom Tov, be B’Simcha.
Although you are now homeless, you know that you have truly rid yourself of all of your Chometz.
It is wonderful to know you did Mechiras Chometz with 100% seriousness!
You can pitch a tent on the grass in front of the Shul until you find another place to live.
However, forget about your former home. It will be filled with wonderful homeless people who I am sure will want to stay permanently in their new lodgings.
That is the beauty of Yiddishkeit; we are Moser Nefesh to do Hashem’s Mitzvahs.
Wishing you all much success in finding a new house.
