Photo Credit: Flash 90
Jalena Rubinstein, first Russian reform female rabbi.

About the Joys of Nidda I am a choseret b’teshuvah trying to get used to being orthodox. It isn’t easy. I hate niddah! It’s like, just when my husband and I are starting to get close, Boom! It’s niddah time! No touching, no hugging, nothing! It’s awful.

When you are niddah your husband cannot even eat from your plate! One evening I forgot this and cut off a piece of cheesecake and ate it straight from the container. Marital discord ensued. My husband was like, “How could you? Now I cannot eat the cheesecake!” In my head I was like, “Good! Now the cheesecake is all mine. Bwahaha!” But he asked his rabbi and was told he could eat the part of the cheesecake I didn’t touch. Bummer! Maybe this was permitted because it was Shabbat and my husband had an extreme need for cheesecake and it was upsetting our Shalom Bayit. Consult your own rabbi on this. But I think that if you are niddah and want the cheesecake to be all yours, you can touch it and kiss it all over then it is forbidden to your husband.
Sarah, DovBear


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Tibbi Singer is a veteran contributor to publications such as Israel Shelanu and the US supplement of Yedioth, and Jewish Business News.