“How’s married life?”
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had that question countless times on a daily basis; and I don’t see it stopping anytime soon!
Two weeks ago, I married my best friend and my life immediately took on a whole new meaning.
A wedding day is so surreal. Beforehand, people tell you that you won’t remember anything, or even be able to appreciate what’s happening around you. Until you’re in it, you can’t fully understand how accurate those warnings are.
Being engaged is tough. It’s like being in limbo, waiting for real life to begin so that you can truly be together. Planning a wedding, finding that perfect dress, trying out different makeup and hairstyles – it’s all preparation for one day out of thousands that are yet to be lived.
Some brides find this time the most exciting. Big white gowns, thousands of shoes to choose from, curls, diamonds, pearls… the list goes on. I’m not that bride. I couldn’t care what color flowers were at my table. Color scheme? Please, do me a favor! I chose a dress in 45 minutes, I had simple make-up, my hair was a regular style; and I absolutely loved it all! I felt like it was truly me walking towards my bashert and not some Barbie doll that my future husband couldn’t even recognize.
Some brides see the day, I saw the marriage.
It’s a whole new, fantastic experience. I’m not a delusional; I know it’s going to be hard and difficult at times but that’s what makes it even better. When you work at something with all your will and ability, spend your time defining it, making it greater, you will ultimately reap the benefits of your efforts.
Don’t get me wrong. What I remember of the actual day (which isn’t much) is incredible! The smiles, laughs, dances, speeches; I can only think of snippets of time but what I can recall is joyous to think of again.
But, hello real life.
The whirlwind of the wedding and the following week of Sheva Brachot sucks you in and it becomes a continuous party time. But, honestly, as incredible and fun as that week was, I’m rather glad it’s over. I got married to spend my life with the one person that I know I cannot exist without. Finally, after months of waiting, we can shut the door and build a home ourselves.
This life is certainly different. You get used to the way of living when you’re single and it’s true that we are all creatures of habit. Sharing every single thing with someone is opposite to having lived your own private life before. No more secrets, no more hidden treasures, no more skeletons in the closet. But, it truly pleases me.
The idea that someone is there for you, no matter what, when or why, is extremely comforting. In fact, I enjoy it more knowing that I have a husband to rely on me and not just the other way around. I love being there for someone, to face everything as a combined force.
Life can sometimes be complicated but I know I would never portray that in public. My face is public property, and I refuse to burden others with the troubles destined for me. But, now there is someone to carry them with me. Someone I will never have to pretend to smile for.
What we have both created between us is an impenetrable bond and it was only strengthened when we officially became man and wife.
To quote my husband’s wedding speech:
No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with
Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you
Yes, I know it’s from the Friends TV show theme tune; it’s my all time favourite show. But it sums up exactly how I view the change between my previous life and my current one.
So, to answer everyone’s constantly repeated question, married life as the new Mrs. Selena Myers is the greatest thing I have achieved yet.