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The welfare minister will be nobody, because there won’t be any welfare.

The finance minister will be ME and ONLY ME, and I will cut everyone’s budget by 100% and return all the money to the taxpayers who it was stolen from. I will continue at my private job now in order to earn a living. Every other politicians who have any skills can continue doing whatever their jobs are if they ever had any.

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Naftali Bennett will be minister of Himself, in charge of regulating, taxing, and budgeting…himself. Anyone else who wants to be a minister will be Ministers of The Guy Who Sits to the Right of Them In The Knesset, all in charge of regulating and taxing the politician on the right. Politicians who have no one sitting on the right of them will be fired.

The defense ministers will be both Henin Zoabi and Danny Danon, who get along very well I hear. I will bring Balad into the coalition just for this purpose. The defense ministers will be locked in a room with blunt objects for the remainder of my administration and in charge of regulating how they defend themselves from each other. The army itself will be split into a bunch of different private military companies by district and left to fend for themselves by either being profitable or going out of business.

All regulations will be repealed except the regulation not to threaten or inflict violence on anyone’s private property, all markets will be freed, and strict gun control laws will be ruthlessly enforced on all politicians.

And so on.

Visit Settlers of Samaria.


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Rafi Farber blogs at SettlersofSamaria.org.