{Originally posted to the author’s blogsite, The Lid}
Well folks it’s that October time of the year again. Beginning Sunday night with Rosh HaShanah (translated as head of the Year) there are three major Jewish Holidays resulting in seven days we cannot work between the evening of October 2nd and sunset on October 25th.
Many in “our tribe” will be away from our computers for two and a half days Sunday night, all day Monday and Tuesday until an hour after sundown, As for me, as usual I will also be away from my computer on Saturdays.
Along with being the celebration of the Jewish New Year and the creation of the world by God, Rosh Hashanah begins the Yamim Noraim, the ten days of awe (that’s awe as in being God’s presence, not awwwww as in what you say when see an ugly baby– but you don’t want to insult the infant’s grandparents who are showing you pictures while you are in Synagogue during the High Holidays trying to pray).
The ten days between the first day of Rosh Hashanah ending with the final blowing of the Shofar ending Yom Kippur is a time for serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and atone for our wrongs.
Now while we are gone, allow me to give you an important reminder–we’ve built a nice little internet here, so PLEASE behave yourselves while we are gone. Here are a few rules to consider:
- Don’t talk about us while we’re gone. You know that stereotype about the Jews controlling the media and owning all the banks? If it’s true we know what you are saying on the phone, radio, and the internet…. with one phone call any one of us can shut down your cash cards and empty your bank accounts. I am not saying the stereotypes are true (or not)…but if I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t want to risk it?
- Don’t make a mess of the place, the cleaning lady was just here, and won’t be back until after Sukkot (Oct. 25)
- No guests while we’re gone.
- We’ve marked the liquor we know how much is in every bottle. Remember, we can treat you like adults or we can treat you like kids…the choice is yours.
- We left some brisket and kugle in the fridge in case you get hungry.
- If you eat the brisket and/or kugle please remember: don’t go swimming for at least an hour.
- And for God’s Sake!!! Please put the brisket and/or kugle back in the fridge when you are done eating. Brisket makes great leftovers don’t spoil it for the rest of us.
- Please stop slouching.
- Don’t run with scissors!
- We left the phone number of where we’ll be on the side of the fridge (next to the picture of Uncle Sol an me taken before he got out of prison). Uncle Sol looked good in stripes.
- Play Nice Together: Right now you Trumpers and NeverTrumpers hate each other, I get it we have mutually exclusive objectives. We were friends before this campaign and I love’ ya’ll despite our political differences. Thankfully most of us are still friends, and for the ones who no longer talk to us because we differer, I will be praying for reconciliation while I am at Rosh Hashana services.
Oh and one more thing…summer is over–it’s getting cold, put on a sweater and a hat you will get sick and then we will all catch it.
Thank you for understanding.
To all my friends, Jew or Gentile
