I’m no expert on war – this is, after all, the first one in which I have been in rocket range. The first one in which there is a palpable possibility of other larger countries getting involved. I and my family are blessed to not know the fear of being hunted as so many now do. We are blessed to not have anyone from our nuclear family fighting on the front lines, even as we have many relatives and friends who do. We have seen the worst horrors and most inspiring acts of camaraderie and yet none of those speak to the experience of what it is like on the ground.
There is a feeling in the air that I haven’t felt before. There is a “war effort” that translates into people being more patient, more forthcoming and more generous. Those who are able are stepping up to fill roles that are decidedly not their own and yet, since they can (be a guard, a cashier…. fill sandbags, babysit children to name a few…), they are. Fewer questions are asked and people just try to accommodate. Everyone is reaching deep to find more resources: time, money, but mostly just energy: energy to get through the hour or the day or the week. And when 300,000 reservists are called up, we all feel it. It’s a small country: that’s a full five percent of the population and doesn’t include several demographics that may not join the army as well as those too young and too old. It is a lot of people. The roads are emptier, the simcha halls are basically closed. Many stores and restaurants need more staff so they have limited their offering and their hours … schools have been closed since before Sukkot, and there are still thousands of wounded who are being treated and many of those will need long-term rehab and therapy.
We have all fallen into a sort of lull wherein this is the new normal, but it is not the new normal and it is not any normal, and guess what? Not everything needs to be normal. That is the lesson I’ve been learning a little more each day. The memes and the reels and the chizuk calls are great. And in biblical times it was the Kohen Mashuach Milchama who would rally the troops. Today, reminding a soldier that the traditional greeting “Hashem imcha gibor chayil” is as if to say, “Go be a gibor chayil and Hashem is with you.”
In war, we don’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel but we know that it is there.
I’ve also noticed that the tremendous amount of exposure to heavy things/ideas/feelings has led to what may be more stressful and dangerous. And just as we may skip the sunscreen on a sunny day but then find ourselves sunburned after too many hours outdoors, our exposure to the news and the media is also exposure to the elements and requires some form of protection. In Hebrew, we refer to this as “Chosen (not like the “chosen” people) Nafshi” or a type of psycho-emotional immunity. It doesn’t happen by itself but it is so needed. As we get bombarded with every piece of news and every WhatsApp, this sort of over-stimulation can’t be processed properly (by most) and we need to look out for ourselves and others as we constantly scroll and think and worry.
War has taught me the incredible value of what we call “shigra” (routine) as the myriad changes have sent many families into whack and have severely limited how those same families can mitigate those challenges. It has also taught me that we often make noise when we argue with one another but, as is so often the case, “Lo B’Raash Hashem.” The truth…. the G-dliness and heart of the matter is not where the noise and disagreements usually are, but at the heart of the matter (where that “Still Small Voice” is….) is respectful, supportive and – get this – even agreeable most of the time. We are here for one another as we always have been but the support and togetherness are just a result of the newly found ability and/ or desire to express that feeling.
I’ve learned that an oft-quoted concept in the writings of Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, zt”l, is very apropos, and I turn to this thought several times a day, as it gives me some context within which I try to do what I can. I am referring to the idea of “Or veChoshech Mishtamshin Be’Irbuvia – Light and darkness can and do operate on parallel fields, and we can’t always look at the world in terms of light banishing darkness. There is bad and good at all times and all places. In this instance, the way to eradicate the bad is not by adding joy or love; we need to eradicate the bad. Full stop. And to fortify those charged with fighting the bad, we offer our love, our light, our support – and sometimes barbecue for dinner.
I’ve learned that helping children hold on to regularly scheduled programming or even just reassuring them that even as schedules have changed and school has been on Zoom, we are prepared with whatever we need.
I’ve learned that guys who have spent a few days in the field can still come back healthy and confident and strong in mindset and in their bodies and in their minds.
May Hashem watch over them, over all of our chayalim, all of Israel and Am Yisrael.
I saw some very powerful words today in response to a friend who shared tragedy (he was at a double funeral of friends who were murdered last Shabbat). His friend wrote simply, “Sending chizuk though I don’t have much left to give.” But you guys are strong and resilient and responsible. As are we.
