How can we be sure to knock down those barriers and get over the spiritual hump? You may want to consider using powerful, vivid imagery, just as Hashem did when He first introduced the avodah of Yom Kippur in the beginning of parshas Acharei Mos. There, the directive of Hashem to Moshe is framed as having occurred in the direct aftermath of the death of Aharon’s two sons, Nadav and Avihu (Vayikra 16:1-2).
We know the Torah doesn’t always present information sequentially (ain mukdam u’meuchar baTorah). The fact that it chose to record these two concepts in sequential fashion indicates that a particular relationship exists between the two. What was that connection?
To answer this question, Rashi shares a famous parable that underscores the power of using real-life examples to drive behavioral change:
And the Lord spoke to Moshe after the death of Aharon’s two sons, when they drew near before the Lord, and they died (Vayikra 16:1). What does this teach us [when it specifies “after the death of Aaron’s two sons”]? Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah illustrated [the answer] with a parable of a patient whom a physician came to visit. [The physician] said to him, “Do not eat cold foods, and do not lie down in a cold, damp place.” Then another [physician] visited him, and advised him, “Do not eat cold foods or lie down in a cold, damp place, so that you will not die the way so-and-so died.” This one warned the patient more effectively than the former. Therefore, Scripture says, “after the death of Aharon’s two sons.” [Rashi, quoting Toras Kohanim 16:3]
Nadav and Avhiu died because of a flaw associated with their attitude and/or conduct when they entered the mishkan. The Torah chose this opportunity to reinforce that the mishkan was not meant to be entered by any person at any time, but only by the right person at the right time. Any misstep in this regard could be fatal.
Still, we need to understand why Hashem chose to introduce the topic of Yom Kippur in such a negative fashion. Even if it was necessary to deliver such an admonition, could it not have waited until a later part of the discussion, after we better understood and appreciated the actual avodah? Why not first emphasize the positives, such as atonement and purity, and then cycle back to any related warnings?
The Torah is teaching us a lesson in the importance of using imagery to influence personal change. In order to properly approach the singular day of Yom Kippur and its tremendous power, it was important to first emphasize its unique holiness. This holiness could best be comprehended by envisioning the consequence of its violation, as evidenced by the deaths of Aharon’s two great sons. With that framework in place, everything that would follow would take on a new dimension of seriousness and sanctity.
This leads us to the final piece, kabbalah al he’asid (commitment to not repeat sinful conduct). Our “New Year’s Resolutions” need to be a serious undertaking, with a real commitment for change. One strategy I often use with clients who seek to make changes in their lives is to have them set S.M.A.R.T. goals. “S.M.A.R.T.” stands for specific, measurable, attainable/realistic, and time-related.
Specific – well defined; you know exactly what you seek to achieve.
Measurable – quantifiable in a way that helps determine whether the goal has been achieved.
Attainable/Realistic – a goal within reach, largely because of your deep desire to attain it.
Time-related – set to a timeframe to ensure continued, focused efforts toward attainment.
If, for example, you seek to daven with greater concentration, fervor, and awareness, you would be wise to apply this formula. Set specific goals of what you would like to work on that allow you to focus your energies. Determine how you will measure success – in terms of ability to translate more words, sustain concentration for extended periods, etc. Make sure that the goals you set are attainable and not beyond the pale of what is presently realistic (this, of course, can and should change as you grow in this area). Then set a timeframe for your goal to keep you on task and moving in the right direction.
