There is no greater impediment to student success and steadfastness than tasting failure early on. It is both unfair and unethical to hold every child to a common standard and evaluate him to that end. Even if a teacher does not feel capable of differentiating learning goals and instructional content, there should be objectives in place that help students feel successful, at least on relative terms.
Same does not mean equal. To that end, children need to know that different (as in different objectives and treatment) is not unfair. If anything, we create an imbalanced playing field by asking all students, regardless of abilities, supports, etc., to perform the same way. Let students know that personal approaches are designed to meet individual needs and then help them identify and celebrate their successes.
Develop a routine. Establishing a proper daily routine can be very healthy. Routines ensure that children and their parents remain focused and organized and don’t let things get past them. Almost nothing causes greater stress in the morning than a child (or two) who’s overslept, can’t find what he needs, realizes she didn’t do an assignment, etc. Moreover, when a child goes to sleep knowing she is ready for the next day, she is more at peace and more relaxed. The goal is to keep the stress level down while also minimizing the association between school and stress.
Get excited and passionate. We cannot necessarily expect our children to be intrinsically excited about school. But we can foster enough excitement and enthusiasm to bring them along for the ride.
About eight years ago I was in attendance at the high school graduation of students I had taught when they were freshmen and sophomores. At the post-graduation celebration a young man approached me. He’d been in one of my freshman classes, for one period each day. The next year, he transferred to a different school in the community. Three years later, he had come to attend his former classmates’ graduation. When I saw him he said to me, “I want you to know that this past year my English teacher assigned our class to write about someone who made a difference in my life. I chose to write about you.”
I was flattered but intrigued. I knew this student for but one year. He was in my class for 40 minutes a day and had many other teachers.
“Why?” I asked. “Why did you write about me?”
The answer he gave has transformed the way I think about education and about life in general, for that matter.
“I wrote about you because you were always having fun when you taught.”
Mind you, the fun he was referencing was not joke-telling or sports-related banter or the playing of games. There were, to be sure, moments of levity in the class, including all of the above. But that was not his intent. He sensed a genuine passion in the class, an excitement in my instruction as well as a desire to engage the students in the lessons and experiences of the subjects under discussion. To him, I wasn’t simply teaching. I was also having “fun.” And he was right.
Parents can instill energy and positivity by demonstrating genuine interest and passion about the children’s work. Let them know how important their learning is and try to get “into it” wherever possible. Children respond positively to the excitement they see expressed by the adults that they respect.
Explain the benefits. Take the time to help children see the value in what they are learning. If the material falls within general studies, let them know what they will be able to do with their learning in terms of employment or as informed citizens. Mitzvos as well as general hashkafa also must be presented in the right context. Sure, our children need to know that we learn because it is the way to understand and practice d’var Hashem. But they should also be told what they stand to gain, such as reward for the actions as well as a deep sense of personal fulfillment. This will help motivate them to learn and do more.
