We see this from the very name of the month. Though we know the names of the Hebrew months were not God-given (they were adopted during the Jewish exile in Babylon), we often can find meaning in them. No truer is this than with the name “Elul,” which hints, in acronym form, to a deepening of our most meaningful relationships.
The author of Kitzur Shulchan Aruch lists (128:1) segments of three separate verses that spell the word “E-l-u-l.” The first is Devarim 30:6, which contains the words “es levovcha v’es levov” (your heart and the heart of.) The full passage reads as follows: “And the Lord, your God, will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, [so that you may] love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, for the sake of your life.” The context of this pasuk is a promise of return that will follow the fulfillment of the blessings and curses that were enumerated in Devarim 28. Once the Jewish people experience a reawakening and a longing to return to Hashem, He will cut away any layers of spiritual turpitude to reestablish a deep, lasting bond.
The second verse quoted in the Kitzur, Shir Hashirim 6:3, is the one we most commonly associate with Elul. The words “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li” (I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me,) reflect a clear expression of a loving relationship between us and Hashem, though it, too, begins with us taking the initial step (“I am for my Beloved”).
The third Elul verse can be found in Megillas Esther (9:22), which famously describes the joy of Jewish salvation and the people’s spontaneous acts of generosity, sending gifts to friends and giving presents to the poor). This pasuk describes the euphoric elation and deep connection that pours forth when we are transitioned from despair to salvation, the exact journey we take during the forty-day period that spans all of Elul and culminates with Yom Kippur.
That period is referred to as “yemei ratzon” (days of wanting) and corresponds to the forty days Moshe spent on Har Sinai during his final ascent. He returned with the second set of luchos (tablets,) an act that symbolized the complete atonement his nation received following the sin of the eigel. For the rest of history these days were earmarked as a time of spiritual closeness and opportunity, when Hashem is more approachable, as it were, than normal. (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 128:1)
But such approachability is predicated, at least in large part, on our willingness to make amends with others we have offended, hurt, and grown distant from.
Teshuvah and Yom Kippur only atone for sins between man and God…. However, sins between man and man…will never be forgiven until he gives his colleague what he owes him and appeases him. (Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 2:9)
Considering the importance of positive relationships to a successful Elul (and beyond,) and in light of the fact that we find ourselves close to returning to more normative routines with the end of summer and the start of the school year, now may be the right time to discuss key relationships – between parents and children and teachers and students, as well as general relationships between each other and with Hashem.
Parents and Children
Studies suggest that parents today, particularly fathers, have more face time with their children than their counterparts in decades past. But they also find that the same technology which allows parents to spend more time at home is simultaneously blurring the lines between work and personal life, and distracting parents from the family time they so desperately crave.
