The database is a great tool for coming up with shidduch ideas, but it’s still a computerized tool that can’t replace a face-to-face meeting. So, the Rebbetzins arrange “shadchan meets.”
During these meets, six or seven shadchanim gather together in a private home to meet potential dates. The boys and girls come by appointment, and make rounds amongst the shadchanim. The singles get the feeling that that the shadchanim are there to help them.
To further increase their range of singles, the Rebbetzins have organized shidduch meets in cities outside of the tri-state area, like Baltimore and Toronto.
Just a little while ago, a young man called Mrs. Serebrowski. He had come to New York from out of town for a shidduch that didn’t work out. He was in New York for one more evening, and wanted to know if the Rebbetzins had a suggestion for him
“It was about 5:00 p.m. when he called,” says Mrs. Serebrowski. “I went through the database and pulled out three names. I called a girl in Lakewood who seemed like the best match, and asked her if she wanted a date at 8:00. She said that she didn’t know; she had never dated like this before. I told her that she could trust me; this was a really good guy.
“But then the guy called back and said that all rental car places were closed. We ended up calling Chaverim of Monsey who contacted a frum car rental and had them open special for this boy. He picked up the girl about 9:00. Everything technical about the date went wrong: he didn’t know where he was going and they walked in a bad neighborhood. But they had a great time. They’re still going out. And we hope they close their shidduch soon.”
Rabbi Beyda has another clear-hashgacha shidduch story. “One boy in our program had a long history with Oorah. He had been to our camp and other programs over the years. He heard about our singles/shadchan retreat this summer and decided to attend.
“Meanwhile, there was a girl who had come to the Zone Camp campus with a family for Shavous, which was on Wednesday-Thursday that year. Over Yom Tov, someone suggested she stay for Shabbos for the singles event. But, because she didn’t get through to the Rebbetzins to get permission to stay, she ended up leaving with the family. They were an hour away from camp when we called to say that she should stay. The family turned around and brought her back.
“We had a doctor with us in case of emergencies and someone decided that the doctor’s wife would be a good shadchan. So the couple sat at a table with singles, four boys and four girls. When one of the boys got up, the boy I mentioned earlier came to sit next to a friend. He noticed this girl and approached the doctor’s wife who redt the shidduch. They got married a few months ago. It was great. The girl wasn’t supposed to be there altogether, the doctor’s wife wasn’t supposed to be a shadchan, and the boy wasn’t supposed to be at the table. But it all worked out.”
These shidduch “success stories” are touching and exciting. But both Rabbi Beyda and Mrs. Serebrowski are quick to point out that the Rebbetzins program doesn’t measure success according to the number of shidduchim that are forged directly through their databases and shadchanim. In their eyes, every single they can help through the shidduch process is a smashing success.