Guidelines for Students Guidelines aren’t important just for the faculty; students need them as well. Debbie Gross, who together with Tahel, has created safety policies for several organizations, pointed out three factors that go into creating a safe environment for students: creating a policy, educating the staff and students, and providing a monitor for them to turn to. The policy sets standards and boundaries; standards may require that any phone call or conversation be recorded in a few lines; boundaries may forbid dorm counselors from sitting on the beds of girls for heart-to-heart discussions. Education includes a workshop for students at the beginning of the year and an annual three-hour workshop for educators. The monitor, who undergoes a ten-hour training session that familiarizes her with both American and Israeli law, must be a warm, approachable woman who isn’t a member of the administration.
Last year, following the successful implementation in schools in Kiryat Sefer, in central Israel, Tahel was invited to Beitar. “Two administration members from each of twenty-seven boys’ schools and nineteen girls’ schools attended a 50-hour course to familiarize themselves with our safety program,” says Debbie. “Two teachers from each school were taught how to reproduce the workshops and we met with each school to design a policy that suited them. Students, teachers and parents participated in workshops.”
Touching on the importance of education, Dr. Nissel encouraged educators to start the year with an orientation session that gives students clear guidelines on proper and improper speech, conduct, and touch. “The students need to know that the the school has a zero tolerance policy to deal with any infringements, and the willingness to follow up on violations,” said Dr. Nissel. Says Shoshana Schwartz, counselor at Retorno, the world’s largest Jewish rehabilitation center located in Beit Shemesh, Israel, “Addiction can be managed, but it isn’t something that can be cured. Clear guidelines can keep perpetrators from acting out. They know that the school is watching them and that they can easily be caught.”
Guidelines help much less when the students are under the influence of alcohol. That is why, says Dr. Nissel, students must be encouraged to keep an eye on their friends and not let them disappear. Students are much less likely to report assaults that happen when they have been drinking. The girl often feels that since she went along in the beginning, she cannot report that things went too far. She’s also afraid that she will be reprimanded for drinking.”
Finally, while most abusers are men, not all are. Students must be made aware of the possibility of female abusers and same-sex harassment.
On the Home Front It isn’t only organizations that are working towards protecting our children. Debbie Shapiro, author and syndicated journalist, recently began giving workshops to small groups of mothers empowering them to keep their children safe.
Even closer to the home front are the words of Rabbi Dovid Cohen, rabbinic advisor to Nefesh International, a network of Orthodox mental health professionals. Rabbi Cohen ended the panel with an anecdote that tackles the issue of safety from a different angle. He related that when the wife of David Ben Gurion’s driver gave birth to a baby boy, she instructed her husband to ask the prime minister who was the most important Jew in Israel. Ben Gurion replied that it was the Chazon Ish, Rabbi Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz zt”l. Given her answer, every Friday night, after lighting Shabbos candles, the driver’s wife prayed that her son would grow up to be like the Chazon Ish. “Today, this son heads one of the top yeshivas in Israel,” said Rabbi Cohen. “We have to take into account the power of our prayers and beseech Hashem to keep our children safe.”