“One of the principles in kiruv is to give someone a mitzvah that he or she can do and then delineate it so he or she understands how to do it,” Rabbi Stern says. When Rabbi Stern saw Gershon enjoying the homemade challah and the almost-endless range of dips, he explained that he wasn’t just eating; he was doing a mitzvah. “If this was Thursday night, it wouldn’t count,” Rabbi Stern added. Gershon was taken in. “Rabbi, this is a mitzvah that I can do,” he said. It started with a barbeque and ended with much more – Rabbi Stern was later mesader kiddushin at Gershon’s wedding.
Rabbi Stern’s ability to forge deep connections led to over thirty people becoming observant within Aish Philadelphia’s first few years. It also led to twenty-three marriages. “I was very close to the couples, having shared in preparing them for marriage by giving pre-marital classes,” says Rabbi Stern. “Under the chuppah we shared a timeless, transcendental moment where the physical world receded.”
At the end of eight years, with his closest student, Sid Laytin, now president of the kollel, Rabbi Stern felt the need to move on. “I didn’t want to pigeon-hole the members of my community by holding on to them to build my community. I wanted to be free to do what was best for them, including directing them to other communities if this was what they needed to continue their spiritual growth,” says Rabbi Stern.
‘The Rabbi Without Walls’
In 2004, Rabbi Stern introduced his revolutionary idea. “The Rabbi Without Walls” concept was inspired by 19th century Rabbi Shimshon Refoel Hirsch,” says Rabbi Stern. Rabbi Hirsch warned that Judaism was becoming something that was done in shul and not practiced at home. Rabbi Stern longed to reach the Jews who aren’t interested in belonging to the traditional Jewish structures their parents belonged to and put Judaism in their hearts, homes and lives. “There are hundreds of thousands of unaffiliated Jews who either don’t have a Jewish background or have some background and are interested in being a part of the Jewish people, but cannot find the right place to grow in their Judaism,” explains Rabbi Stern. “These Jews don’t identify with the traditional Jewish structures that their parents belonged to. They want a Judaism that is more personal and doesn’t cost a shul membership,” he says. Some of these Jews want a rabbi to guide them – enter The Rabbi without Walls.
“I want to introduce Judaism to people, then to cultivate a relationship so that I can understand their needs. And finally, I want to help them find the best place for them to grow further,” says Rabbi Stern. Attract, connect and leverage – that’s what it’s all about. “There’s no competition here. I’m not trying to build another congregation. I’m simply helping people find the niche that’s right for them,” he says. To do this, Rabbi Stern leverages the help of other people in the community, whether in a shul or in a kollel. “We’re working together to do the best for the individual,” he says.
After a year in Philadelphia, Rabbi Stern moved to Milwaukee. For the next five years, he worked with Rabbi Twerski as the community’s RWW bringing the shul, the kollel and the school into a partnership. “I’d been guiding people for nine years. Rabbi and Rebbetzin Twerski, with their royal approach, confirmed that what I’d been doing with my instinct and nature was correct,” says Rabbi Stern.
From Milwaukee, Rabbi Stern moved to Boca Raton to start a RWW program on the campus of the Jewish Community Center. Based in Yardley for the past year, “The Rabbi Without Walls” has become a countrywide project.