Talk It Through
I’m writing in response to a “Life Chronicles” letter and answer in the August 2 issue. Starting from the beginning, this woman had been pressured by her husband to take the kids up to the country for the summer (while he stays home to work and goes up for Shabbos), and his reasoning is because he wants to hang out with his shul buddies who also go up for Shabbosim. This may not be because he wants to be home alone for indecent reasons, as his wife may surmise, but rather because he wants his house to himself, with no kids and no responsibility.
A simple solution could be that if he says he wants to see his shul buds, they should simply go up for Shabbos together as a family. That way mommy can live in the comfort of her home during the week and have no doubts or suspicions as to what he’s doing while she’s away – even if it’s just playing video games until 2 a.m.
The fact that she is now noticing that her husband is less interested in intimacy or that he’s sneaking peeks at younger women should have nothing to do with going upstate, nothing to do with a “10-year marriage slump,” and nothing to do with how good-looking he is and that he could do better. If she is thinking these things, this is a serious issue and she needs to talk to her husband immediately about her feelings.
I don’t think the first thing to do is to “greet him looking your best, serve him a delicious meal, and tell him you’re so happy to see him.” This is not a present-day episode of Leave It to Beaver. Just talk. Have a serious conversation about all of these feelings and issues and hunches, as ridiculous as they may sound. Laughing and crying and feeling awkward are all normal during the ensuing conversation.
Some women love going up to the country for the summer (sounds so nice, to be honest) where their kids can roam free outside from dawn till dusk. It just works out. But for others, it’s not the right fit. This needs to be a conversation. Everything needs to be a conversation. That’s what marriage is. A constant understanding of one to the other. And if you don’t understand something? Ask a question. Have it clarified. Otherwise, assumptions are made, feelings are hurt and cannot always be repaired.
Hatzlacha raba to this woman and her husband and kids. I hope they can work through this. Not all men are jerks who are always looking for a younger model. But if you think he is, don’t run away to the country. Talk to him. It’s worth your while.
Ahuva Lamm
Fair Lawn, N.J.
Dems’ Decision Speaks For Itself
I’m not in the habit of giving Democratic presidential candidates any advice, but I’ll make an exception in this case. To Kamala Harris: Not to worry, the decision by you and your handlers to oust Josh Shapiro from contention as your running mate will not cost you a great number of Jewish votes, only some. Jewish liberals are well ensconced in their Democratic Party cocoon, hence disappointments, rejections, and betrayals by the party are just things to take in stride as very loyal party members.
Apparently, Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro didn’t pass muster as a viable, acceptable running mate for Kamala Harris. Now what follows are the usual absurdities, lies, and half-hearted reasons why Minnesota Governor Tim Walz is more suited for the position. Let’s all enjoy a reality check. Let’s “tell it like it is” in the slimy world of politics. Let’s list all the reasons why Shapiro didn’t make the cut.
First and foremost, he’s a Jew. Then, if that isn’t anathema enough to the hard-core leftist faction that currently calls the shots in the party, he’s also an outspoken supporter of Israel’s right to exist and defend itself.
The fact that he supports a two-state solution in the region and is a vocal critic of PM Netanyahu is simply meaningless to that bitter, entrenched cabal of Israel-haters, Zionism-haters and, in the opinion of many citizens of our nation, myself included, Jew-haters. Of course, those two or three dozen Democrats in the House would deny that final accusation, although anyone with brains, eyes, and ears knows better. The October 7 massacre, the Nazi-like pogrom on that infamous day, has opened the eyes of many Americans, both Christians and Jews as well as many Israelis.
It’s time to reject outright the usual word salads, the political double-speak, the lies that insult our intelligence, and say it straight out: Sorry, Governor Shapiro, for this piece of politics, but no Jews need apply, even those with credentials such as a dislike of Netanyahu. The political experts have determined it’s the 200,000 Muslim votes in Dearborn, Michigan and the large Muslim vote in Minnesota that we must have.
Also, Governor Walz is, in the eyes of the hard-left Democrat bastion in the House, a great choice, one who echoes and emulates Kamala’s leftist persona. No need for “balance” when we can offer a slate that agrees on every single leftist position, be it the catastrophic Southern border, unacceptable inflation, a timid, groping foreign policy that favors Hamas and Hezbollah over Israel, rampant crime in the nation’s streets, far too many committed by illegal aliens (admittedly, “undocumented migrants” may sound nicer to any Americans victimized by them) and, economically, the worst possible news of a likely recession looming ahead.
So there we are. There’s no whitewashing this decision. There’s no American explanation for it. But the original question remains: How will America’s Jewish voters respond? As an opportunity to hit back with a vote for the man who did far more for Israel than all his predecessors combined – Donald Trump – or continue on that same path of utter obeisance to what I’ve called the real religion of millions of Jews, the Democratic Party? We’ll find out on Election Day.
Myron Hecker
Via Email
