Flexibility Needed in Shidduchim
I read with great interest your recent articles concerning shidduchim and what can be done to ameliorate the current “crisis.”
It appears that we have evolved into a very rigid and unyielding environment in which eligible men and women operate today.
One significant segment of the population believes that young men should sit and learn for varying fixed amounts of time and that their parents, in-laws and wives should support this worthy endeavor. Respectfully, in my view this scenario should only apply to exceptional “learners” so that they may develop into future gedolei Yisrael. A preponderance of the population, however, should get educated and begin careers to support their families. Yes, of course, there must be a segment of each day, or zman kevuah, dedicated to learning Torah, but the imperative of “Sheishes yamim taavod vasisa melachtecha” is prominent in Jewish life.
A father is responsible for teaching his son(s) three things: To earn a living, learn Torah, and to swim. Yes, to earn a living. Parents and wives should not have to shoulder the burden of supporting and raising families; this is not sustainable in the long run. It is an admirable aspiration, but not fiscally realistic for many. Besides, parents have been there, done that. That may sound cold, but children need to grow up and function independently. Parents of course should assist where they can and it’s appropriate, but kids have to leave the nest at some point and fly. Great talmidei chachamim such as the Rambam were physicians, professionals and businessmen, while at the same time developing into Torah giants.
Another faction does believe that men should obtain an education and become professionals. G-d forbid, however, should a young man choose a blue-collar profession versus striving to be a doctor, lawyer, accountant or computer professional. Oftentimes the plumber, electrician, HVAC and other so-called blue-collar professionals earn more than their white-collar contemporaries, but parents and women look down at these “lower class” professionals as potential matches with disdain.
A significant dent can be made in the alleged shidduch crisis simply by parents and young men and women being less rigid in their requirements and expectations. No, I’m not asserting that anyone should simply settle for any suggested match, but more emphasis should be placed on the character of the young men and women looking for their bashert. Will the young man make a good, loving, supportive husband and father with strong Jewish values? The same applies to the young women. The fact that there are so many “older” singles reflects poorly on our communities. Whatever happened to sticking to the good old basics?
I wish success, mazal and bracha to all the people seeking their life mate. May they be zoche to be successful at the right time with the right person.
George Weiss
Brooklyn, N.Y.
The Little White Lie
In The Jewish Press (September 1) the article titled “Is It Proper To Tell A White Lie” was wonderful. The rabbis’ responses were spot on. There are times when it is permissible to tell a little white lie. I think that even the Talmud discusses such an occasion.
It is mentioned, in the Talmud that when someone goes to a wedding where the bride is ugly, what should he/she say? Beit Shammai says that you should tell the truth (midavar sheker tirchack). Beit Hillel says that it is okay to tell the bride how beautiful she is. I am sure that whenever anyone who reads The Jewish Press goes to a wedding, he or she will tell the bride, bridesmaids and families how beautiful the women are. After all, aren’t ALL Jewish women beautiful?
Harold Rose
Via Email
Trump Editorial Disappoints
I was very disappointed to read your editorial “What Part Don’t They Get?” (Sept. 8) in which you fail to mention a word regarding the severity of the crimes for which Trump has been indicted. In fact, you defend his high poll numbers.
With the exception of the frivolous New York case brought by Alvin Bragg, if Trump is convicted of any of his other alleged crimes (which is very possible), he is unfit to be president of the United States or hold any public office. That, along with his continuous lies, cruelty and complete lack of integrity should remove him from consideration to be leader of the free world.
Although his administration had some worthy accomplishments, that is no reason to disregard his fatal flaws. His attempt to steal the 2020 election forfeits any achievements he might have had while president.
As a lifelong, active Republican, I say enough is enough. We can surely do better. There’s still time for Republicans to choose a superior candidate who is worthy of the Republican nomination and who can actually win a general election.
Arlene Ross
Forest Hills, N.Y.
Chutzpah in High Places
I am often amazed by the chutzpah of the Democrats and their news media handmaidens. But then I think about it and realize it’s just a small additional move in the same old direction.
Chutzpah is defined by the old Yiddish joke about the boy who murdered both his parents and then begged the judge for mercy on the grounds he was an orphan. Likewise, for example, the New York Times, Washington Post, CNN and most other news media withheld news of Hunter Biden’s laptop computer and what it contained. They also withheld reports of banks reporting the many suspicious large money transfers that went to the Biden family members, the video of Joe Biden threatening to withhold a billion-dollar American aid package to Ukraine unless they fired the Ukrainian investigator of Burisma.
The big chutzpah came when the House Republicans began the Biden impeachment inquiry. After not reporting the Biden family misdeeds, much of the media complained no such facts supported the need for the inquiry. So first they withhold the information and then they complain there’s no evidence and no one knows what it’s all about.
An example of the chutzpah is displayed below in an opinion piece in the New York Times by longtime conservative David French titled “Evidence should precede impeachment, not the other way around”:
On Monday, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy ordered the House Oversight, Judiciary and Ways and Means Committees to start an impeachment inquiry into Biden without anything approaching comparable evidence. Indeed, the absence of such evidence was used as a perverse justification for the impeachment inquiry. The pretext is the purported need to grant greater investigatory authority to House committees examining whether Biden lied about his business dealings with his son Hunter and whether the president granted Hunter “special treatment” in the ongoing criminal investigation of Hunter’s potential tax and gun crimes.
I would like to emphasize that this is an investigative committee to further gather the facts that the Democrats claim they want and not an impeachment committee.
Charles Winfield
Princeton, N.J.
Climate Hypocrisy Strikes Again
Those attending the United Nations General Assembly this week could lead by example, when it comes to global warming and climate change.
Heads of state, ambassadors, military attaches and security personnel can give up limousines taking them to and from their embassy, hotel or residency to the UN. These motorcades contribute to traffic gridlock and increase air pollution. Join several million New Yorkers by riding the New York City Transit subway or bus. Enjoy some fresh air and walk several blocks from any nearby subway or bus stop. Mingle with ordinary citizens to develop a better understanding of America and its people. If congestion pricing kicks in in 2024, they should not be exempt or offered discounts. This includes any police, FBI or other law enforcement escorts whose vehicles should be billed to whomever they have been assigned to protect.
Larry Penner
Great Neck, N.Y.
