The California Supreme Court’s ruling last spring striking down that state’s ban against same-sex marriage created a tremendous uproar throughout the country. Religious groups, including Orthodox Jewry, railed against this fundamental challenge to the historically accepted definition of marriage as the union between a man and a woman.

The year before, the Rabbinical Conference of America, Orthodox Union, National Conference of Synagogue Youth and Agudath Israel released a joint statement addressed to New York State legislators, in response to their consideration of a similar redefinition of marriage, that said in part:

On the issue of legalizing same-sex marriage, the Orthodox Jewish world speaks with one voice, loud and clear: We oppose the redefinition of the bedrock relationship of the human family.

We approach this issue through the prism of the Jewish religious tradition, which forbids homosexual acts, and sanctions only the union of a man and a woman in matrimony.

The institution of marriage is central to the formation of a healthy society and the raising of children….

Society’s mores may shift and crumble but eternal verities exist. One is marriage. Its sanctity must be recognized and its integrity preserved.

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While we certainly appreciate and unequivocally support the Orthodox position as it relates to same-sex marriage, there no doubt are those who wonder why this issue garners so much of our time and energy.

After all, in what sense does such legislation change the current reality? Certainly the absence of legal backing never served as much of a deterrent to those engaged in this particular “abominable” behavior (Vayikra 18:22 and 20:13).

Further, it would seem as though the primary benefits associated with such legitimacy – tax benefits and protection against employer discrimination – would have no direct bearing on most Americans, including the Orthodox Jewish community.

Finally, we live in a society that routinely tolerates norms and values wildly inconsistent with our Torah lifestyle. So why have our leaders seen fit to speak out publicly and repeatedly on this particular issue?

I believe Orthodox Jewry has stood up in strong opposition to such legislation because as a community we maintain that legalizing same-sex marriage does far more than simply formalize a lifestyle forbidden by our Torah. As indicated in the aforementioned joint statement, such legislation poses a fundamental threat to the very fabric of human society, which is based on the uniquely nurturing structure formed by “the union of a man and a woman in matrimony.”

This concept has always been clearly and widely understood. According to our tradition, gentiles as well as Jews have found such anti-family conduct to be abhorrent.

Ulla said, [there] are thirty commandments [comprised in the seven Noachide precepts] which the sons of Noach took upon themselves, but they [only] observe three of them…. They do not draw up a kesubah document for males, they do not weigh flesh of the dead in the market, and they respect the Torah. [Talmud, Chulin 92a-b]

Obviously, this in no respect implies that the nations of the world have historically abstained from homosexual practices. To the contrary, it was a central element of many ancient civilizations.

Still, even the people of Sodom, after whose debased conduct the word sodomy is derived, stopped short of legitimizing their desires in the form of marriage.

In contrast, the fact that same-sex marriage has found recent support in the courts has lent credence to homosexual behavior as a valid and legally sanctioned form of conduct, absent of shame or stigma – which has all along been the primary goal of gay rights supporters. In the words of Justice Antonin Scalia, writing his dissenting opinion in the case of Lawrence v. Texas (2003), the homosexual agenda is “directed at eliminating the moral opprobrium that has traditionally been attached to homosexual conduct.”

This new legal trend calls into question the very definition and purpose of marriage. The Torah refers to marriage as kiddushin, a sacred, natural bond between man and woman. For the sake of preserving a strong sense of kiddushin, our leaders have spoken with a common voice against same-sex marriage.

But there are other factors to consider as well. True, there appears to be no significant Jewish concern over the issue of tax benefits for same-sex couples. Still, this legislation threatens to allow the filing of discriminatory lawsuits against landlords, employers, physicians and spiritual leaders who stand up for their beliefs and values.


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Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach and president of Impactful Coaching and Consulting. He can be reached at 212-470-6139 or at [email protected].