It’s hard to believe, but just a few days ago was the first yahrzeit of our beloved daughter, Devorah Leah. Devo, or simply Laz, as she was known to many, led a remarkable and brave life in her 25 years with us. We are deeply touched and truly appreciate all the kind words of support and comfort we’ve received during these past difficult months. People of all sizes, shapes, and colors took a few moments to share a story or an encounter they?d had with Devo that left a lasting impression.
Some noted her amazing bravery as she fought the epilepsy that struck her when she was just 8 years old. Although she was in and out of hospitals and emergency rooms, most of her friends never even knew she had this condition. The doctors prescribed every epilepsy medicine, even those not yet formally approved by the FDA. Devorah Leah endured many difficult side effects; unfortunately, none of the medications were able to control completely the seizure activity.
When she reached the age of 15, the consensus of the doctors was that Devorah Leahneeded brain surgery to prevent the seizures that were growing ever more dangerous. I was totally against it, but Devorah Leah told me that she was willing to take the risk if it meant she could have a normal shot at life.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe, whom she always considered her close friend and mentor, sided with her and, in fact, urged us to do the surgery at the earliest possible time. Thank G-d, Devo made it through with flying colors and was released from the hospital after just a few days.
While the procedure helped eliminate the frequent smaller seizures (known as partial-complex), Devorah Leah continued to suffer from occasional and severe grand-mal seizures. It was at this point in time that we began getting information about something called the ketogenic diet.
The doctors advised against it, deeming it too difficult to keep for an adult, let alone a teenage girl. The diet was used almost exclusively with very young children whose food intake could be constantly controlled. It requires a very exact and rigid program; one that fools the body into thinking it’s actually fasting. Every single food item is weighed to the exact gram. But here too, Devo was not to be swayed. She kept this diet for nearly 18 months, and to everyone’s surprise and utter joy she became seizure-free. And thus began her new lease on life, which she grabbed onto with every fiber of her being.
She often told me that she was grateful to Hashem for all she’d suffered, because it made her truly appreciate life and all its wondrous blessings. She lived that gratitude every day of her life, reaching out to others with her heart and soul. People in their mid-40’s and 50’s wrote to us how this young Devo had taught them so much about overcoming obstacles – and how to do it with a smile on their faces.
Devo was always quick to do a mitzvah, especially one that involved helping another. A lady wrote us that she only met Devo once, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression. Devo was returning late at night from a simcha – she went out of her way to attend as many as possible – and saw this woman walking alone on the streets of Crown Heights. Devo approached her and inquired if she was all right. The lady said she was late coming home from work and had about three blocks to go to her house. Devo insisted that she was headed in the same direction and escorted the lady safely to her home. It was only later that the woman learned that Devo in fact lived several blocks in the opposite direction.
Another person wrote to us telling how, late one night, as Devo was leaving a simcha, she spotted an older teenage girl walking down the middle of Eastern Parkway. Devo went over to her and asked what she was doing. The girl said she was simply counting the number of steps from her apartment to 770 Eastern Parkway, Lubavitch world headquarters. Devo, not one to let a fun, spontaneous moment pass, accompanied the girl, making sure she completed the task quickly and safely.
Many wrote to us about Devorah Leah’s sense of humor, her infectious smile and laugh. She took the mitzvah of ‘ivdu es Hashem b’simcha’ (serve G-d with joy) as a personal motto. But she truly felt that her sense of personal happiness was directly tied to making others happier. Even on her days off from teaching school she would engage in activities that focused on others.
She was a devoted pre-school teacher in a yeshiva in Great Neck, where her students and colleagues admired her dedication and enthusiasm. Never one to be satisfied with the status-quo, she sought out clever and creative ways to motivate ‘her kids’. I myself have been in the field of education for more than 25 years, and have gone through my share of ups and downs, teacher burnout, etc. But seeing Devo put so much of herself into her class had a tremendously positive effect on my own teaching.
Besides all the effort she invested in mitzvot bain adam l’chaveiro – mitzvot between a person and his or her fellow human beings – Devo excelled in mitzvot bain adam l’Makom – mitzvot between man and G-d. She loved to daven and say Tehillim (she knew much of sefer Tehillim by heart). And she truly loved to learn and inspire others to study and love Chabad philosophy.
Whenever she came home or to Camp Mesorah to visit us, she would have a book of stories of the Baal Shem Tov with her. Driving in the car, I’d turn on the radio without even thinking twice and she’d remark; ‘Ta, put on Jewish music!’ She always had lots of Jewish tapes with her and she preferred the earlier Jewish music to the slick studio productions of today, telling me it was more authentic.
To both my wife, Gittel, and to me, Devo was – is – a truly high neshama that we were blessed to watch over, to love, and to guide for those all-too-brief 25 years. We also know that she is learning and continuing to grow spiritually with all the holy neshamos in gan eden. May we too continue to learn from her remarkable ways.
I suggest the following practical endeavors in her z’chut: Do whatever you do – as long as it’s kosher, of course – with zest, enthusiasm, and with a smile on your face. Reach out to others. Give to them. Only by giving do we truly receive anything. And thank Hashem for all the wonderful blessings in our lives. Remember, each moment is a gift – that’s why it’s called the present.
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