This situation is exactly analogous to what we face today, and a similar solution should prove effective. We don’t need elaborate takanos and plaintive calls for moderation. We need role models to step forward and set a new standard. Let several wealthy and highly respected individuals publicly announce that their upcoming semachos will be plain and understated in every way. Further, instead of wasting many thousands of dollars on a few hours of pomp, they will donate the equivalent amount to a variety of worthy charities. This will allay speculation that they are covering for a financial downturn or a sudden bout of parsimony.
This mesiras nefesh should receive widespread publicity and fanfare. (Hopefully the ba’alei simcha will not be motivated by the well-deserved honor they stand to receive, but this is a trivial concern.) This break from social expectations will quickly become the talk of the town, and the average Jew will be liberated from the chains of social expectations. After all, if prominent and wealthy Jews are making simple affairs, an ordinary person would be crazy to take out a second mortgage to pay for something more elaborate. If anything, his opulence would come across as silly and misplaced.
Consider the benefits to our community: The pressure to keep up would fade; financial and emotional burdens would be lifted from thousands of families worldwide; millions of dollars in perpetuity would be available for more important purposes; charitable causes would benefit from a new trend; our semachos will be more spiritual and authentic, beautiful in their modesty.
If these role models were to receive no more reward than the knowledge that they benefited the community through their example, that should suffice. But I submit that those who devote their over-the-top simcha money to charitable causes instead of personal indulgence will receive tremendous blessings as a result. How wonderful it is for a new couple to begin their life together with such a powerful demonstration of mesiras nefesh! Surely it will only lead to good things for them and their families. (It is quite common for families to go from simcha to aveilus; whether there is a direct connection or not, surely this would stand as a zechus for the entire family.)
Rabbi Gamliel receives merit that far outlasts the fleeting honor he sacrificed. A similar merit is available today. I hereby pledge to set an example in my own small way by keeping my semachos extremely modest and making significant donations to charity in honor of the occasion. Let other, more wealthy and prominent individuals step forward and do the same.