The prime minister, hair disheveled, pajamas wrinkled, glasses askew on his bulbous nose, burst out laughing. All those present (two bodyguards and an aide) also exploded in hysterical laughter.
Stunned at the sudden outburst, the voice of a very insulted secretary general came across loud and clear.
“Laughs best is he who laughs last, Mr. Prime Minister. This is a complete insult.”
“Mr. Secretary. I respect you. I really do, and I admire your unwavering – some would say totally one-sided – support for the Palestinians. I wish, however, to assure you that I also have my best intentions vis-à-vis their future. I will not do anything to hinder the coming election. In fact, if you noticed, my army is under strict orders not to respond too harshly for all of the hundreds of mortars being lobbed against Jewish settlements.”
“But…” the secretary general attempted to interrupt the prime minister.
“Please allow me to finish. Our army and police are preparing for the upcoming expulsion, which I promise you again will be carried out. You will yet come back with Security Council accolades and congratulations for Israel. The expulsion will be total – and only the beginning. Trust me, I may have misled my own people, but I would never mislead you.”
“Mr. Prime Minister. All that is fine and well. But what of today’s disgusting action against…”
“Mr. Secretary General, I suggest you re-read the report and re-examine the news item. You will note that the ‘village’ in question was not Yisa-har, in Arabic, but Yitzhar, in Hebrew. A Jewish outpost. Let me repeat that slowly. A J-e-w-i-s-h outpost near Nablus. Those people who were beaten, arrested, and jailed are J-e-w-i-s-h settlers. Those huts our bulldozers demolished were J-e-w-i-s-h trailers.”
“Really? Are you telling the truth? I…I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding.”
“Don’t fret a minute over it. Your misunderstanding is quite understandable. And your relief at being corrected is also understandable and admirable.”
“My goodness! Jews?! Not Palestinians? Not Serbs? Not Sudanese? Not Croatians? Not Iraqis? Only J-e-w-s! Thank God for that.”
“Yes! Only J-e-w-s, Mr. Secretary General.”
“Well! That’s different. Sweet dreams, Mr. Prime Minister. I apologize for waking you.”
“Good night, Mr. Secretary.”