Dear Agam,
May your candle shine!
I have read a lot about you in the media since your release from captivity in Gaza. I feel a great sense of closeness to what is being said about you. I feel this way because I have experienced something in life that is somewhat similar to yours. You were held captive by Hamas for almost a year and a half. I was imprisoned by the Soviets for nearly eleven years.
Of course, there are significant differences between our life experiences, but there are also many similarities. It has been written about you that you found a prayer book and prayed from it. You also likely read Psalms that you had learned. I understand you also had a book by Rabbi Chaim Drukman, of blessed memory. In Soviet prisons, it was forbidden to possess a prayer book, any religious text, or any Jewish book at all. However, despite all the prohibitions, I managed to obtain a prayer book which I copied and hid in a large matchbox. I also obtained a Tanakh (Bible) and studied it in secret, ensuring that none of my captors would find out. Eventually, they discovered it and confiscated the book. I went on a hunger strike for months. Finally I managed to secretly write about my situation to friends in the U.S. who then sent my letter to the Human Rights Council.
When I insisted on keeping Shabbat, the authorities decided to contain me in a freezing isolation cell with barely any food. After I refused to give in to their authority they transferred me to “X” prison where I spent three years in a small room with five other political prisoners.
I admit that as terrible as all of this sounds, the torture did nothing to me because I was filled with faith in God and bowed down only to Him.
I see a significant difference in our confinements in that you were under the constant threat of being murdered at any moment, while in the Soviet prison, I was relatively safe. I wasn’t afraid of being killed. However, I did not know if I would ever be released. Perhaps I would die in prison.
I write all of this to you so that you will understand that, indeed, we have had similar experiences. But the most important thing is the revelation of God’s light in prison. Before I was imprisoned, I was part of the Jewish underground. It was through the struggle for the Jewish people that I chose to become religious.
However, that was a voluntary decision. I now teach at a yeshiva, Machon Meir. I told my students, “Do you know why Agam Berger discovered the Creator specifically in captivity?”
From my own experience, I can identify two reasons.
The first reason – when you are in a place between life and death, you ask yourself, “What is the meaning and value of my life?” And you come to a clear realization – the entire value of my life lies in the fact that I am Jewish, part of the eternal people of Israel. And then you want to nurture and internalize this deep understanding.
The second reason for discovering God’s light is that in such situations, you feel that you are representing the entire Jewish people before the enemy. You are not just yourself. You are Israel. And from that catharsis, you feel like a child of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
You impressed everyone, especially me, by coming out of captivity with the tablet on which you wrote a verse from Psalm 119: “I have chosen the path of faith.”
I told my students: We have seen hostages return, thank God. Each one wrote something on a tablet. Thanks to parents, family, soldiers… All of that is correct. But what you wrote is more than just gratitude. It is a call to all of Israel: “Follow me!”
Any reasonable person who sees you and what you wrote must understand that here is a person who has emerged from the valley of the shadow of death. What does she bring us? What does she want to tell us? “Choose the path of life, the path of faith.”
The lesson that a person finds in the valley of the shadow of death is the truth. And our God is truth. A pure and refined truth forged in the fire of suffering. And from all this truth you now have a great responsibility – to lead the people of Israel to follow you. Because you have the ability to convey this message, a message more precious than gold, in a way that no teacher could ever express.
Dear Agam! I am not a “messianic” individual, but I interpret your name as an acronym: Or Geulat HaMashiach—”The Light of the Redemption of the Messiah.” Not only you but all of us, the whole world, are living in the era of the footsteps of the Messiah.
And more – when I was released from captivity, the very next day, I went to study in a yeshiva. This is what is written in the verse you brought to the people of Israel: “I have chosen the path of faith; Your laws I have set before me.”
Faith alone is not enough. One must know and observe the entire Torah and its commandments. And that requires study.
I imagine that right now you are very busy with meetings, interviews, conferences…. But all of that will pass. One day, you will find yourself alone. The media must always replace its celebrities. And then the question will arise: what’s next?
Of course, one can go to university and build a career. But I have understood that this is not why you were chosen, why you were sent, and why you returned with a great message for the people of Israel. As I former prisoner blessed with the kindness of God, I bid you to expand your knowledge in faith and Torah so you can continue the amazing mission for which you were chosen – to lead the people of Israel toward the light of Redemption. This is the answer to all the failures and flaws now exposed in our beloved society.
“The Lord desires, for the sake of His righteousness, to magnify the Torah and make it glorious.”
Rabbi Yosef Mendelevich
Veteran Prisoner of Zion
