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The “brand new” Israeli Labor Party has revealed its brand new political platform and brand new agenda and we thought we would sum it all up for you.
Here are the planks of the Labor Party Platform:
- Appeasement is the highest form of resistance and vehemence.
- Cowardice is the highest form of bravery.
- Treason is the highest form of patriotism.
- Censorship is the highest form of democracy.
- Impoverishment is the highest form of equality.
- Capitulation is the highest form of victory.
- Monopoly is the highest form of competition.
- Uniformity is the highest form of pluralism.
- Quotas are the optimal method to ensure equal opportunity.
- Disarmament is the highest form of defense.
- Past failure is the highest guarantee of future success.
- Raising prices is the best way to ensure low prices.
- Production quotas are the best way to ensure adequate supply.
- Government bureaucrats are the most qualified people to decide what should be produced.
- Foregoing use of force is the best way to achieve peace.
- Self-defense is the ultimate form of terrorism.
- Terrorism is the ultimate form of protest.
- Taking away income and wealth from people is the best way to ensure their well-being.
- Discrimination is the ultimate form of equality.
- Unanimity is the ultimate form of diversity.
- Barring people from the labor market is the best way to ensure full employment.
- The best guarantee of democracy is when the media restrict themselves to correct ideas and opinions.
- The people who know best what citizens and consumers need are government officials.
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Rotten planks make rotten structures!
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