2) Goal Setting: When children are exposed to frequent negative news and events they can easily lose a sense of optimism which is very important to emotional development. Certainly the news during the summer may have shaken their positive outlook on life. One way of building optimism is to set goals and celebrate accomplishments. Discuss with your son or daughter both short and long term goals. Let them choose what is meaningful to them. Choices can range from basic room cleaning to saving money for charity. One suggestion I recommend is for children and parents to set a goal for learning Torah. Completing a section of Humash, Mishnah or Gemarah will not only build optimism but will also enhance your filial relationship. 3) Unity: There was an impressive showing of solidarity and unity among all sectors of Judaism during the crisis in Israel. Jews from all strands of society removed their external identify markers to come together in prayer and support. There were no adjectives and no labels – rather it was Am Yisrael – “like one person with one heart.” It was truly historic. I believe that as a People, we learned a lesson that the barriers between Jews must be transparent. We can have our individual differences, our diversity, and our communities. But we should be able to look at each other with respect and dignity and say “Haverim kol Yisrael.” We need to instruct our children to remember that despite our differences we are still one family. Our focus should shift pronouns from Me to We. I recently read a blog from a “kipa serugah” Jew in Israel who visited the family of Reb Avraham Wallis (HY”D) – a Hasid from Meah Shearim – who was killed in the recent terror attack in Jerusalem. A brief excerpt poignantly describes the need for unity:
The father then looked at me and, through his gaze, he “asked” me to speak. I told him that I came from Maale Adumim and as soon as I heard the terrible news about his son, I felt I wanted to come and be menachem avel (offering condolences). I said that it makes no difference about what one wears on the outside because INSIDE we are ALL part of the same Jewish family. He began to cry and say that indeed, we are all one family and Hashem’s children. (http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/a-shiva-call-out-of-my-comfort-zone/)
4) Prayer: During the crisis in Israel, children observed and participated in the many prayer rallies, recitations of Tehillim and learning groups in the hope of a safe return of the three teenagers and welfare of the soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces. However, from their perspective, they also observed that their prayers were not answered in the way they expected. How do we deal with these challenges of faith? What do we tell our children and how do we guide them for the future. We begin by admitting that we, as parents, also struggle to find answers. In fact great Jewish leaders from the time of Avraham struggled with question of “Zaddik v’Ra Lo” – “why do the righteous suffer?” It is important for children to understand that it is OK to question and to live with ambiguity. The tragic events of the summer become teachable moments to build Emunah and faith. Children should know that prayers are never useless and that we don’t always immediately witness the effect of Tefillah. One of the mothers of the teenage boys remarked that the prayers for her son were used to protect the people of Israel from the Hamas rocket attacks. We need to continually remind our children (and ourselves) of the value of prayer.
