Even if one likes to think of shadchanus strictly as a mitzvah, it is an inescapable fact that the act of matchmaking is a service that is little different from what a real estate agent or a headhunter gets paid to do. The latter invest in their professions and their customers, which earns them credibility and trust. While the services of a shadchan are more personal, the need for credibility and trust is just as essential.
Shadchanim who invest in earning this credibility and trust will find that singles will be infinitely more receptive to their ideas and will recommend others to work with them. Ultimately, this nominal investment will pay for itself many times over as the rate of success and the number of clients will both increase dramatically.
Shadchanim who are truly serious about their work will have no qualms about investing in their ideas, just as any businessman does on a regular basis. Those who are even marginally successful will be amply rewarded, and those who are not marginally successful will go out of business – which is good for singles and for the shadchanim who are better at what they do.
Finally, for those who are still simmering over the suggestion that a shadchan should be eager to invest money in a proposed match, consider this: for a shadchan to turn a profit he needs to find a successful match less than 1 percent of the time. After all, the shadchan breaks even every time it goes to a second date, and the shadchan receives 100 times his investment every time it leads to marriage. Shadchanim who are even minimally competent will absolutely thrive under this system. Shadchanim who are not minimally competent shouldn’t be shadchanim, and will be weeded out through this system.
To summarize, the $20 investment is good for the single because it helps with the cost of dating and guarantees that the shadchan has put enough serious thought into the suggestion to invest in it. The investment also improves the relationship between the single and the shadchan by building trust and mutual respect. The investment is good for the shadchan because singles will be far more willing to follow up on suggestions and even a minuscule success rate will more than make up for the investment. This system of shadchanus is good for everyone except shadchanim with a near-zero success rate.
Once again, I can only hope that a critical mass of people will have the spirit to try something more intelligent than the status quo. We can talk forever about how bad the situation is, or we can do something substantial to make it better. I hope community leaders will express support for the idea and that both shadchanim and singles will eagerly support this new framework. We will then certainly be blessed to hear many happy stories and see an alleviation of the troubles in our community.