What is most striking about the research findings is the clear evidence that individuals who have been traumatized can develop a lack of empathy and even lose their sense of sympathy.
Child abuse was found to be associated with very low levels of sympathy and in some cases a complete lack of empathy. It’s therefore no surprise that people who were abused in childhood are likely to develop personality disorders in a cluster that, until the advent of the DSM-5, the American Psychiatric Association’s latest guidebook for diagnosing psychological disorders,fit the profile of being overly dramatic, excessively emotional, or unpredictable in their thinking or behavior.
In my personal experience, not all who are abused develop this lack of emotional connectedness to or with others. But many do. It appears that those most likely to develop empathy dysfunction are children who would like to tell or have tried to tell a responsible adult what happened to them, who traumatized them, and how. But they were ignored or their accounts of abuse were dismissed or minimized.
These children very rapidly develop a feeling that no one cares what happens to them. And if others have no concern for them, there’s little reason (and no good modeling) for the abuse victim to learn to be sensitive to others. Children do not lie about abuse. When treated as if they are lying, they are being doubly abused.
If we are to build a generation of caring, concerned, and responsible adults, we must protect and validate our children. If we are to be merciful toward others, let us start here.