When we found out about the Bibas boys having been murdered, I knew I had to tell my 11-year-old son. This was one of the most challenging conversations I ever had in my life. I was waiting to tell him the news until it was 100% confirmed. I even kept him home from school, hoping that I could be the one to share the info with him.
But of course, like all Israeli children, he beat me to the punch.
He climbed next to me on the couch and asked me, “Are Kfir and Ariel dead?”
He had been asking about them by name for 500 days.
I said, “I am not 100% sure. But Hamas says they are giving back their bodies today.”
He lay his head on me as the tips of his ears and his freckled cheeks turned red in horror. He said nothing. I could see there were words stuck in his mouth, written all over his face.
So this is how I explained it. You, dear reader, may not agree with how I see life and death and our place in it – but this is how I thought it was best to explain the unexplainable from my own poor understanding.
“Human beings, when we are alive in this world, feel the pain, injustice, evil, and unfairness of lives cut short. To us, who are living, we cannot comprehend this horrific fate. There is nothing more evil than this.
“But souls, after they have left their bodies and return back to Hashem, see the time when they were living in a totally different way. They have the benefit of seeing the context of when they lived and what happened to them: they can see all of the Jewish past, and all of the Jewish future ahead of them.
“If it is true, that they have been killed, Kfir and Ariel were here for such a short time to our human understanding.
“But look at the impact of their lives?
“They clarified the difference between good and evil.
“They unified their nation.
“They were so beloved.
“Such a short time in our perspective, but what an immense impact.
“In this world, we are limited by human understanding. There is so much that we can’t understand. That makes no sense.
“But one day, when the world is redeemed and Mashiach comes, maybe we will. One day, when we go up to shamayim (heaven) and sit at the kisei hakavod (G-d’s heavenly throne) we can see the world and history and all that’s happened through more understanding eyes, that we don’t have access to just yet.
“I believe that if they are truly gone, Kfir and Ariel are no doubt sitting with Hashem. Seeing their place in history, all the good they brought to the world in the very short time they were here.
“Their souls will not have the understanding of a 2- and 5-year-old in heaven.
“They will be wise and understand their place in history, and what we will unveil next. Why they came into this world at this time, and why they were taken so soon.
“But for us, who are still living here in this place that oftentimes feels so confusing and painful, we still see the world through the lens of our humanity, not our connection to Divinity.
“And so we are left with grief and pain. Reeling at the evil of this. Even if we know that those little boys are now safely with their mother and Hashem in shamayim.”
He asked many questions, and I did my best to answer them.
A few hours later, I was in the kitchen making comfort food, when he was sitting at the table. He was very quiet.
I asked, “Are you OK?”
He said no.
I said, “Me neither.”
He then replied, “How do I figure out what I am supposed to be doing in this world? Like Kfir and Ariel?”
I thought for a long time and then I responded, “Time will tell. You are here at this pivotal time in history. Everything is changing. We need people like you, with your perspective and compassion to be here, with us. The work will reveal itself, in time.
“My love, there is so much work to be done.”
Sending understanding to everyone who has impossible questions and those who are sitting with painful answers or no answers at all.
