Turning to rabbinic authority to make these choices for us reflects an unhealthy desire to relinquish critical thought, decisiveness and accountability. While requesting advice from individuals we respect, rabbinical or not, is a productive and healthy component of decision-making, there is a critical difference between seeking a perspective and searching for an answer.
Just as disturbing, whether prompted by genuinely good intentions (as I would imagine is the case with most) or ego, there are Jewish leaders who encourage this reliance and when approached with questions that fall outside the realm of their expertise don’t hesitate to provide answers. Instead of encouraging independence and autonomy, such actions remove the burden of decision-making from the supplicant’s shoulders and foster dependence in a generation where self-determination is already under attack on multiple fronts.
A fundamental task of rabbis and teachers is to provide their talmidim the tools and capability to stand on their own two feet, make critical choices, and live with the consequences. What a shame it would be if, much as is occurring in the culture at large, we in the Torah world are moving to create human beings who are less capable, less competent, and less complete. When we find ourselves following the latest secular trend, even one that can be cloaked in a veneer of Torah, perhaps taking a step back and reassessing our actions is a worthwhile idea.