Jewish tradition has always emphasized continuous self-improvement, especially at the beginning of each year. Now that Rosh Hashana is less than a month away, we can learn three self-help messages hidden in these age-old traditions. Modern psychology has come to see the value in these Jewish teachings, and we refer to each principle by its Jewish term and psychological term to show how similar they really are!
Message 1: Focus on the here-and-now or “contact with the present moment.”
One of the things that holds us back from change are the thoughts that seem to run through our minds without end. Whether these thoughts are self-critical, critical of others, or just plain negative, they can really hamper any attempts to become better. Sometimes the best approach to deal with thoughts or emotions is simply to connect with the experiences of the here-and-now. One of the ways suggested to do this is ground oneself by turning your full attention to a single sensation. This could mean mindfully eating (like reciting a beracha before eating a meal or a snack) or allowing oneself to stop and appreciate a beautiful tree and the grandeur of G-d’s world.
On Rosh Hashana, we blow the shofar, whose shriek penetrates our consciousness. When we hear the shofar this year, one goal for this year should be to simply try to notice the experience of hearing the sound of the shofar. Instead of thinking of that work project, or that errand we forgot, or something about the news cycle, you should try to really “be present” for the here-and-now of hearing the cry of the shofar. As the Rabbis tell us, the mitzvah of the shofar is hearing the shofar. By establishing “contact with the present moment” you may notice the shofar takes on added power and you will be practicing a healthy psychological skill at the same time!
Message 2: You can’t change yourself without first accepting who you are or “principle-expansion.”
True reflection sometimes leads us to the painful realization that despite all our good intentions in life, we do have a dark and sometimes ugly side. Over the course of the year, we can ignore our own flaws. This allows us to artificially maintain our own high standards for ourselves. But of course, it is only through acknowledging our flaws that we can truly improve! We need to go through the disturbing emotions that arise when we admit, “Yes, I am sometimes arrogant, self-centered, spiteful, and selfish.” That’s the only way to truly become humble, altruistic, and loving. On Yom Kippur, there is a tradition to read a long list of our mistakes. If you read this list – whether in synagogue or even at home – notice your reaction when you think about a character trait you are not proud of. Let that reaction sit with you. Allow yourself to face the feelings that arise when remembering moments over the past year you acted in ways you should not have. Before you focus on feelings of guilt or a commitment to change, pay attention to the sensations that arise in your body, and try to breathe through them. Once you have truly faced your true self in this way, you will notice that changing your behavior in the future is much easier, as you have become fully aware of and acknowledged this part of yourself.
Message 3: Take action, no matter how small, in service of your deepest values or “committed action.”
Judaism is about connecting with our deepest values. Still, a lot of times, we don’t know what our deepest values are. Rosh Hashana is a great opportunity to think about the values that are truly important to us. This is a common recommendation in psychology as well. Once you make this list, then reflect on your life. How much of your time are you dedicating towards action in pursuit of these values? It is easy to get caught up in the flashy accomplishments in life. And there is also the “tyranny of the urgent” that diverts us from the things we truly want to accomplish in life. So, we might not have too much money but we can still give some tzedakah. We might have a lot on our plate but we can still carve out time to light Shabbos candles or attend a Shabbos meal. We might not have an hour to exercise but we probably can find five minutes. We might not have a full day to learn Torah or read a book but we can do something on our morning commute.
Even small changes can lead to big results. Part of Rosh Hashana is figuring out what those values are that will help us create true meaning in life, and we need to be focused on taking simple steps in the here and now in order to reach our spiritual objectives!
