Of course, that is not to say that we must capitulate. Shabbos is Shabbos and must be preserved with all of the sanctity and holiness it demands and deserves. Our children should better understand the special gift we have and the opportunity that shutting down offers in terms of time for Torah study, deepened familial relationships, and the chance to hone our intrapersonal awareness. Still, by seeing things from our children’s perspective, we can let them know we “get it” and begin to appreciate their abstinence even more.
I am reminded of a powerful story of empathy, one that speaks directly to the issue at hand. Rav Aryeh Levin of Jerusalem, zt”l, was immortalized by Simcha Raz’s book, A Tzaddik in Our Time, Feldheim, 1976). In the book, Raz relates that Rav Levin once attempted to sway a storekeeper to close his doors for Shabbos. The owner was obstinate; couldn’t the rabbi see how much business would be lost if he closed?
Rav Levin was undeterred. Late in the afternoon one Friday, the elderly Jew entered the store already dressed in his regal Shabbos attire. He took a chair and sat down in the back. The owner was intrigued by the rabbi’s presence but was unable to attend to him due to the bustle of customers. When he finally approached Rav Levin and asked if he could be of assistance, the latter politely declined.
An hour later Rav Levin got up to leave. He said to the storekeeper, “I sat here so that I could see what your challenges are. I see that your store is very busy and that many customers enter even after sunset. But what can we do? It’s still Shabbos!” And with that he walked out. The owner committed at that very moment to never keep his store open on Shabbos again.
We may never understand our children’s pull to their devices. So much of their activity seems juvenile and at the same time too hopelessly complex for us to properly engage and comprehend. But we need to know the problem is not going away any time soon, and that we need to find real answers with which to address it.
