Rav Shimon Schwab, zt”l, asks the obvious question (May’ain Bais Hashoayva): If Avraham’s sin was truly “unwitting,” how could it be viewed as “great”? Typically, sins that are unintended do not begin to stack up against those done deliberately.
His answer is that Avraham surely knew that just as Hashem had delivered him from Nimrod’s furnace, He would be able to supply Avraham and his family with provisions in Eretz Yisrael. Avraham’s error was that while he was strong in his own personal faith, he felt he could not impose his trust in Hashem on those who had accompanied him on his journey. For them, it was necessary to take the action of descending to Egypt (despite the perilous situation Sarah would face).
As the spiritual leader of the group, says Rav Schwab, it was incumbent on Avraham to rise above his humility and inspire the group with the same degree of trust he himself possessed.
We see in this the tremendous value of developing a strong sense of personal emunah and bitachon and the impact such trust can have on others.
In an interesting twist, there does seem to be one area in the world of relationships where the economic downturn may be having a positive impact: dating.
In the past, it was common for young American males seeking a suitable partner in marriage to look to impress their dates by sporting the latest trends and displaying the hottest gadgets the market had to offer.
Such spending today, however, is likely to turn suitable spouses away rather than attract them. There are indications of a decline in how much men are spending on courtship – and that their dates have come to view this as a sign of prudence and responsibility. Gizmos are no longer needed to impress. In fact, they often are taken as a sign that a prospective mate is irresponsible and probably not capable of managing married life responsibly.
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch writes that the reason Jews utilize a pre-screening shidduch process, rather than simply allowing young men and women to meet and determine compatibility on their own, is that people are greatly influenced by that which is quickly perceived by their senses.
If a person is enamored with another’s looks, wealth, or other desirable characteristics (commonly referred to as “love at first sight”), he or she will find it difficult to identify the negative qualities that may prove to be the death-knell of a relationship. Only by objectively pre-screening potential partners to determine their compatibility in the core areas of life (personality, religious values, etc.), can we be sure the proper criteria were utilized in determining whether a match is appropriate.
While this is certainly a challenging time, let us hope the current crisis helps us become even more sensitive to the needs of others and develop a newfound sense of trust in Hashem. This, together with our continued emphasis on the truly important aspects of a strong marriage, will help us to maintain and even strengthen our domestic relationships throughout this recession and beyond.