He also notes that that even though we find in the Rosh’s Orchot Chayyim (printed in the back of some siddurim) that one should give a zloty and a half at the end of every, doing so is only a midat chasidut – a pious and meritorious act above and beyond the actual requirement. According to the letter of the law, he writes, one need only give a third of a shekel.
The Mechaber (infra 249:3) writes that a person should “give charity with a pleasant demeanor, with expressions of joy and a whole heart, commiserate with the indigent person in his suffering, and speak words of compassion.” If a person gives with a demeanor that belies his obvious irritation and bad feelings, the Mechaber writes that he forfeits his merit (even if he gives a substantial amount – see Ba’er Heitev).
If a person has no money to give, “he should not display anger or raise his voice; rather he should pacify him with soothing words and indicate that he truly wants to give to him but currently lacks the means to do so,” writes the Mechaber.
The Rema (ad loc.) adds: It is forbidden to send away a poor person empty handed, even if all he can give him is a single grogret, as it says (Psalms 74:21): “Al yashuv dach nichlam – Let not the oppressed turn away in shame.”
(To be continued)