Rabbi Sholom Klass also discussed supporting children from one’s charitable funds and cited many authorities who permit doing so. We cited authorities who disagree. Even Birkei Yosef who claims that it is permitted discourages doing so. The Aruch Hashulchan claims that one who deprives the poor of support by using charitable funds for one’s own children. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein notes that social conditions have changed in that children today remain dependent for much longer thus obviating use of ma’aer kesafim for their support.
We cited from Responsa Me’ah She’arim, where Rabbi Yitzchak Silberstein relates an incident involving a fundraiser who asked an elderly Rav Dovid Karliner for funds for the famed Navharodoker Yeshiva. After having received the elderly gaon’s donation he was caught by surprise when the gaon offered to give him another donation, having forgotten that he had just, moments earlier, given him money.
We cited the Rambam (to Avot 3:5) who writes that merits are attained according to the number of one’s deeds. Thus, giving a small sum to many poor people is better than giving one large sum to one needy person. The Chofetz Chayim adds that acting in this manner accustoms a person to giving charity.
Last week we noted that giving numerous times to the same individual also helps a person overcome his yetzer ha’ra. We noted the Chazon Ish’s view that if a giver has the wherewithal and the receiver has the need, he must give him. He notes, though, that our sages caution not to impoverish oneself through giving. Rabbi Silberstein also stresses that a person who asks for funds numerous times from the same individual is guilty of wrongdoing since he deprives other poor people of funds. He notes that it is imperative for a fundraiser to remind an elderly person that he gave him once before. Otherwise, he is guilty of geneivat da’at.
* * * * *
A number of years ago I personally had a charity-based incident related to this very same dictum of the Mishnah (Avot 3:15): “Everything according to the preponderance of one’s actions” which the Rambam explains means: “Merits are not attained by a person according to the magnitude of a single action but rather according to the preponderance of the number of one’s many actions.”
In my position as rabbi, I was approached by one of the officers of the shul where I was then serving, and informed that they wished to sell various honors including the right to dedicate the mezuzah of the main entrance to the synagogue, with the hope of fetching a handsome sum for such an honor. I was given not more than 15 or so minutes to make an appeal for this purpose.
With little time to prepare an elaborate speech I suddenly thought of this dictum and the Rambam’s explanation. I began to discuss the mitzvah of mezuzah and the requirement (Yoreh De’ah 285:2) that it must be placed on the outside cubit of the doorway. The Rema (ad loc.) explains that placing the mezuzah in this spot enables those who pass through it to put their hands on the mezuzah and say, “Hashem yishmor tzeiti u’voi – Hashem, guard my going and coming” (which is based on Psalms 121:8 – “Hashem yishmor tzeitcha u’vo’echa me’ata v’ad olom – May Hashem guard your goings and comings for now and forever”).
Birkei Yosef (ad loc.) records that the Ari states: “One should place his middle finger on the word Shakai that is inscribed on the outer side of the mezuzah parchment, kiss it, and pray to Hashem that He guard over him with His name Shakai…” This is our source for kissing mezuzos.