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The Spouse of His Choice

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The ChazonIsh ultimately defends the ruling of the Maharik and the Rema. He explains that the Rashba alone would not be enough to justify the ruling. But the Maharik cites several other reasons for his ruling. For example, it is a mitzvah to marry the person one desires. In addition, just as a child need not give his possessions to his parents just because they covet them, so too he need not give up the spouse of his choice.

In addition to these two reasons, the Maharik adds that the main mitzvah of kibbud av v’eim involves caring for them, providing their needs, not heeding their every whim (although this too is normally required).

In conclusion, we might add that at times the answer to a difficult question can be found in the simple wording of a pasuk in the Torah. In Parshas Bereishis, we find the following (Bereishis 2:24), “There shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” This verse implies that children are supposed to reach a point in life when they establish their own household and family.


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RABBI YAAKOV KLASS, rav of Congregation K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush, Brooklyn, is Torah Editor of The Jewish Press. He can be contacted at [email protected]. RABBI GERSHON TANNENBAUM, rav of Congregation Bnai Israel of Linden Heights, Boro Park, Brooklyn, is the Director of Igud HaRabbanim – The Rabbinical Alliance of America.