The Daughters Are Mine, The Sons Are Mine
‘Grandchildren Are like Children’
(Yevamos 62b)
In discussing the laws of pru u’rvu,the Gemara states that “grandchildren are considered like children.” Therefore, if a person has grandchildren, and then his sons die, he need not endeavor to have more children to fulfill the mitzvah of pru u’rvu. Based on the principle of “grandchildren are considered like children,” the Shulchan Aruch rules that a grandfather is obligated to teach Torah to his grandchildren just as he is obligated to teach his own children (Y.D. 245:3).
Daughter’s Sons
From the Gemara, it seems that not only are one’s son’s sons considered one’s own, but so too are one’s daughter’s. For this reason, the Gemara cites as proof Lavan’s comment that Rachel and Leah’s sons were like his own. Indeed, Rashi explains that it is obvious to the Gemara that one’s sons’ sons are like one’s own. It only was unsure whether one’s daughters’ sons have the same status.
The Gemara rejects the proof from Lavan’s comment, but it does conclude that one’s daughter’s sons are like one’s own.
Lavan’s Lie
Rabbeinu Bachaye writes that Lavan’s statement, “The son are my sons” (Bereishis 31:43), is false. Although they were indeed his grandchildren, the Talmud Yerushalmi (Yevamos 6:6) states that only one’s sons’ sons are considered one’s own, not one’s daughters’. Indeed, the Midrash Rabba (Vayigash 94:6) writes concerning the passuk, “Yaakov and all his descendants came to Egypt,” that his sons’ sons were listed as his sons, but not his daughter’s.
(Both these sources contradict the Talmud Bavli in our sugya. It is interesting to note that Rabbeinu Bachaye favors the opinion of the Talmud Yerushalmi over the Talmud Bavli.)
Lavan Kissed His Sons And Daughters
The Maharil Diskin asks why the Gemara does not prove that that one’s daughters’ sons are like one’s own from this passuk “Lavan kissed his sons and daughters.” This passuk doesn’t just quote Lavan claiming that his grandsons are like his sons. The Torah itself is talking here, calling Yaakov’s sons Lavan’s sons.
R’ Diskin answers that this passuk is in fact a continuation of the previous one: “Yaakov slaughtered animals on the mountain… and Lavan kissed his sons and daughters.” The pronoun “his,” R’ Diskin argues, does not refer to Lavan. It refers to Yaakov.
Learning Torah With Grandchildren
The accepted halacha follows the conclusion of our sugya, that one’s daughters’ sons are like one’s own. Therefore, if a person has grandsons from his daughter, and then his son dies, he has fulfilled the mitzvah of pru u’rvu and need not have more children.
Interestingly, though, regarding the mitzvah to learn with one’s grandchildren, the Kesef Mishnah seems to make a distinction between one’s daughters’ sons and one’s sons’ sons. He states: If a person is approached by two prospective students, one of whom is his son, his son takes priority. If one is his son’s son, he also takes priority, since one’s son’s sons are like one’s own. If one of them is his daughter’s son, however, the Kesef Mishnah is unsure who takes priority – he isn’t sure if one’s daughters’ sons are really like one’s own.
Honoring Grandparents
The Rema (240:24) rules that one must honor one’ss father’s father. The Vilna Gaon (s.k. 34) notes that one need not honor one’s mother’s father. This also implies that one’s daughters’ sons are not like one’s own.
