Another reason why a secular will might be valid according to halacha is as follows: Since the recipients of the will can demand their money in secular court, it is as if they have already taken possession of it. Therefore, they are eligible to receive it, even if the deceased did not entrust it to a third party on their behalf before he died (Teshuvos Achiezer 3:34, Minchas Shai 75, Mishpat HaTzava’a 3:301:3).
No New Heirs
In general, it is important to note that a secular will is only valid if the benefactor asks for his possessions to be given to a certain recipient as a gift. If he says that he wishes so-and-so (who isn’t his halachic next of kin) to be his “heir,” the will is invalid.
Unfaithful Children
Although it is a mitzvah to fulfill the will of the deceased, if an heir did not do so and sold a possession that the deceased asked to be given to another, the sale is valid. The intended recipient cannot force the buyer to give him the property (Rema, Choshen Mishpat 252). However, if the deceased was a sh’chiv meira – on his deathbed – when he gave his instructions, an entirely different category of halachos applies. We treat the recipient as if he immediately took possession of the property and he can force the buyer to give it to him.
Instructions in a Dream
Someone once asked the Chelkas Yaakov (Yoreh De’ah 206) about someone who appeared to his heir in a dream several times asking that his remains be brought to Eretz Yisrael (he had already been buried). Eventually he even warned him of consequences should he fail to listen. The Chelkas Yaakov ruled that the mitzvah to fulfill the will of the deceased applies only to instructions regarding possessions, not money. The heir, therefore, is under no obligation to use that money to transfer the person’s remains to Eretz Yisrael. And since this particular heir wasn’t even the deceased’s son, he didn’t even have a mitzvah of kibud av v’eim to honor his request.
Smashing the Violin
The Chelkas Yaakov added, however, that the heir should not take lightly the instructions he received in his dream. The Sefer Chassidim (327) relates that a certain person wanted to make a violin out of wood that was left over from a coffin. Although others who were present protested this insult to the honor of the deceased, the man paid no heed to their complaints.
That night, the person buried in the coffin appeared to him in a dream, and warned him not to make the violin, but the man ignored the request. The deceased then appeared a second time in a dream, and warned him that if he made the violin he would contract a dangerous illness. Again, the man ignored the request, and proceeded to make the violin as he had originally planned. As the deceased had warned, he fell sick with an illness that threatened his life. His son then took the violin and smashed it over the grave of the offended and left the shards of the violin on the grave. The sick man then recovered from his illness.