I have been attending summer camp for over three decades. I have been a camper, masmid, office boy, junior counselor, counselor, learning rebbe, head waiter, division head of almost every age, director of specialties, and currently, media director. But I have a confession to make – as a camper I absolutely abhorred color war. I hated the change of schedule, the loud cheering, the unusual splitting of my bunk and the whole camp, having to go to team-time to learn and then to sing songs, etc.
But I remember that the last year that I was a camper in Camp Torah Vodaas (of blessed memory), I had a different experience. That summer during color war, I was invited to have a major part in the grand play. I had never acted on stage before, and I was quite skeptical about my acting abilities. My older brother was always a natural actor, but I never thought I had any ability on stage. Since then, I have acted in numerous plays. That likely would never have happened if Baruch Wein, who wrote our team’s play, didn’t have the confidence in me that I didn’t have in myself.
Acting in that play made me a sudden celebrity in camp that summer and gave me a surge of confidence. For the rest of the summer, campers would refer to me as Dovi, my name in the play. The following evening, when a few staff members convened to write the alma-mater (the song sung during the grand sing – the crescendo of color war and the summer season), I joined them. I didn’t think I had any ability to write lyrics. However, sometime well after midnight, when they were stuck on a line I suggested “As I ride the bus staring out the window, tears well up inside my eyes.” The face of the person in charge of the song lit up, and he wrote my suggestion down. That was the beginning of a camp career writing lyrics for songs.
I don’t even remember if my team won color war that year. But I do remember feeling sad when it ended.
I had always dreaded color war. What had suddenly changed? The obvious answer was that for the first time I had been involved in color war. It wasn’t something dictated and imposed upon me, but something I had invested in and contributed to. That was why, despite the tremendous exertion and effort it entailed, I enjoyed the experience and didn’t want it to end.
Now that the month of Elul has begun, we are all anticipating the imminence of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Many dread the experience of reciting long, unfamiliar tefillot and having to contend with so many halachot, and introspection. How can one not only not dread these days, but even excitedly anticipate the exquisiteness of these lofty days?
One possibility is that it depends whether we are passive or active towards these days. If the tefillot and laws are imposed upon us, then we see it as a necessary inconvenience that we have to survive. However, if we are proactive and prepare ourselves somewhat for the coming days – by learning the halachot, studying some of the meaning and depth of the tefillot, it can become an enjoyable, inspiring, and uplifting experience. We can actually feel excited for the Yomim Noraim, despite the challenges it brings.
If we “step into the Yom Tov” and build up excitement for the opportunity that it presents, we will look forward to it.
