As the big day of judgment approaches, we are getting closer physically to Rosh Hashana, and we hope and pray that we are getting closer to Hashem with every day that goes by.
I once heard a nice example of the days that go by on a calendar. There are two types; one that we finish the month and we tear off each page so that by the end of the year one is left with only one page. And the other type is when we add a page every month. The first type, we come to the end of the year with only one month of the year in our hands. The second type we arrive at the end of the year with all the months. The months of the year represent all of our experiences. Good ones, less happy ones, and all sorts of hardships, basically, everything we went through the entire year. When we come before Hashem on the day of judgment, we want to be represented in the best possible way. We want the judge to see all of our strong points. Our strengths, and our good deeds. We want to find favor in the judge’s eyes by showing Him how hard we tried to obey His every command.
When we come before Hashem, with only one page in our hands to offer, it might be a good page with a lot of good deeds, but it doesn’t represent or reflect who we really are. On the contrary, the judge might look at that one page and say this doesn’t show Him who we really are. There’s not enough information here. Yes, you did nice things in the last few weeks, but I don’t know who you are or what your background is. When a person tries to get car insurance, the first question the agent asks is see your car insurance record for the last three years, and on that basis they will see what type of coverage, and at what price they will give you for the new insurance. When we come before the Almighty with twelve months of deeds in our hands, not necessarily such good ones, we are showing Hashem, a constant desire to serve Him despite our imperfections. We are showing our Master, our Creator, that despite our misbehavior, we still love Him so much and wish to serve Him with all our might.
By showing Hashem the whole year that wasn’t very good, and then the last page where we are trying so hard to behave well, this in itself is such a worthy act. Hashem knows that we are lacking in good behavior, and yet we try to come closer to Him at the end of the year, as the days to our judgment come closer as well.
We know that we are in Hashem’s merciful hands. The whole effort of trying to be good right before the court date, is to glorify G-d. Hashem sees the entire year, and everything we have done. The fact that we are not hiding who we are and begging Hashem for forgiveness, is more worthy in the eyes of the Almighty than someone who does no wrong, like an angel. As the days come closer to Rosh Hashana let us try to think of Hashem as our Father and not as a judge in the Supreme Court. Thinking of Hashem as a father will bring us closer to Him and closer to our desire to want to do good. By thinking of Hashem as a judge in the Supreme Court, which will bring fear and trepidation, might not bring us close. Therefore while trying to come closer to Hashem, I would try to think in terms of a father, so that the outcome will be closeness to Hashem.
May our Father in Heaven who is presently down here amongst us in the field, bring us closer to Him in every way.
