Is There Anything Wrong With a Frum Jewish Man Looking Super Stylish?
We have to distinguish between stylish and “super stylish.” In Europe, students of the Slobodka Yeshiva were recognizable because of their modern dress. The message was that being religious didn’t mean you rejected all of modernity.
However the implication of being super stylish is excess concern with being avant-garde. There is value in breaking stereotypes of yeshiva students who all look the same and are unconcerned about their appearance. But this needs to be balanced by avoiding being overly materialistic. The outside world rarely gets to know the inner life of religious Jews and how we dress is an important part of the impression we make.
It is difficult to define precisely when the line has been crossed, but considering how others might interpret the message we are sending by how we dress – instead of focusing exclusively on oneself – is a reasonable guide.
— Rabbi Yosef Blau, mashgiach ruchani at
YU’s Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary
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Do clothes make the man or does the man make the clothes? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. There is however, something wrong with being overly obsessed with one’s looks.
The Talmud (Shabbos 145a) requires a Torah scholar to have impeccably clean clothes. Rabbi Yochanan would refer to his clothing as mechabduta – that which gives honor. In other words, owing to his stature, he had to dress appropriately, but his clothes didn’t define him.
The Midrash relates that the Jews were redeemed from slavery in Egypt, in part, in the merit of retaining their Jewish style of clothing. Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Rimanov often said that Jews dressing like gentiles actually invites anti-Semitism.
The Maharsha (Shabbos 77b) writes that “a person’s clothes portray his attributes.” Needless to say, dressing as a shloch is unbecoming of a Jew. But aspiring to keep to the latest fashion trends reflects something lacking in the attitude of the individual trying to blend in with mainstream society.
Should a frum man look super stylish? Ultimately, it comes down to the objective of the individual.
— Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, popular Lubavitch
lecturer, rabbi of London’s Mill Hill Synagogue
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The way people dress is a reflection of their own psychological makeup. Some people like to appear sloppy and unkempt as a way of showing disdain for “middle class” values. Some like to dress to impress others with expensive designer clothes, thinking that by so doing they demonstrate their level of “success.”
A man (or woman!) who seeks to be “super stylish” probably has a lot of personal issues to sort out, including feelings of insecurity, competitiveness, arrogance, and exhibitionism. This is true whether they are “frum” or not, although I think we would expect a “frum” person to have a more modest sense of personal dignity.
Rabbi Eliezer Papo of 19th century Sarajevo wrote a classic mussar volume, the Pele Yoetz, in which he offered the following sensible advice: Follow a middle standard in clothing. Do not wear elaborate and expensive outfits even if you can afford them. Moderation in clothing is proper. One’s clothing should be neat and clean.
We need to remind ourselves not to participate in the rat race of one-upmanship. When we really know who we are and have confidence in who we are, we gain a fine sense of our own freedom. We can be strong unto ourselves; we can stop playing games of who has more, who has better, who has control. When we are free within, we have the confidence to live our own lives, not the counterfeit lives others would impose on us; we are free of the real or self-imposed rat race.
We don’t need to be “super stylish” in order to be super good.
— Rabbi Marc D. Angel, director of the
Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals
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This question – like many issues in halacha – requires a very fine balance because a person really has to have two, almost polar opposite approaches. On the one hand, I was created in the image of Hashem and therefore have an obligation to represent myself in a manner befitting that position. That’s especially true for Jews who represent Hashem in a far more active manner since we’re Hashem’s people.
There’s also an issue of self-definition involved. A person has to understand his position and dress accordingly and therefore needs to be aware of what’s acceptable dress. To be completely out of tune with what’s considered stylish or fashionable for a person of his age and stature [is wrong].
On the other hand, being super stylish means being a slave to “Paris” – i.e., to modes of dress and passing philosophies or lifestyles that are often in conflict with a Torah perspective.
My rebbe, the rosh yeshiva, zt”l [Rav Henoch Leibowitz], used to say we have to dress “conservatively elegant.” “Elegant” means representative of a person’s position. And “conservative” means not being very, very fashionable.
— Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier, founder of The Shmuz
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There are a few factors to examine before an answer can be given:
1) Does dressing in this manner involve the prohibition of not doing things that are specifically and customarily female?
2) Is the style in keeping with local custom?
3) Does the desire to dress in this manner indicate an obsessive concern with one’s external (physical) appearance at the expense of one’s internal spiritual status?
Although Chazal fault Yosef for being overly concerned with his external appearance and styling his hair, there are definitely sources that suggest that being concerned with being presentable and with one’s physical appearance is praiseworthy. Chazal say that one should dress according to one’s means, and one’s clothing confer honor on a person.
Bottom line: If not taken to an extreme and dressing in a stylish manner externally expresses inner refinement, it can be positive. Just as the clothing of the kohanim were designed to bring out their inner holiness and project it externally, so too a regular person’s clothing can achieve this same goal when tastefully attractive and refined.
— Rabbi Zev Leff, rav of Moshav Matisyahu,
popular lecturer and educator