Should parents name their child after an ancestor if that ancestor’s name sounds strange to modern ears (an extreme example would be “Yenta”) and the child may later feel awkward sharing his or her name with others?
Naming a child for an ancestor is an authentic minhag and has a positive effect on the child and on the neshamah of the departed ancestor. However, an important consideration in naming a child is how comfortable that child will be growing up with his or her name.
To both fulfill the minhag and not make the child uncomfortable in the future, it behooves parents to bear in mind that the name need not be exactly the name of the ancestor. It can be a translation of the name from Yiddish to Hebrew, for example, or can even be a name capturing the essence of the ancestor’s name. For example, Shneur (which means two lights – shnei or) was created by someone who wished to name his child after two ancestors: Uri (light) and Meir (illuminate).
I heard from Rav Elyashiv, zt”l, that a parent can literally name a child anything he wants – he can even call him Table or Chair. But the parent should, above all, keep in mind how comfortable the child will be with his name in the environment in which he will grow up.
Rashi tells us that Jewish names are as precious as the stars, and every Jew is literally a star, counted and named with a unique mission in this world.
— Rabbi Zev Leff, rav of Moshav Matisyahu,
popular lecturer and educator
* * * * *
There are conflicting customs about naming babies after ancestors – for example, some people translate the Yiddish names of ancestors into their Hebrew equivalents. Since there is no clear minhag, one has flexibility.
Yet, if it means a great deal to a grandparent that his or her parent’s name be passed on to a descendant, sensitivity to those feelings is appropriate.
The child, though, will be called by that name for his or her lifetime, and having a name regarded as strange can be a burden, so one should keep that in mind.
— Rabbi Yosef Blau, mashgiach ruchani at YU’s
Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary
* * * * *
Naming a child after a close relative is both a zechus for the relative as well as, in some respect, for the person being named. However, if the name is going to cause undo hardship or embarrassment to the child, I’d be hard-pressed to think it’s a worthwhile thing to do.
I’ve heard people suggest that in such a situation, one either modify the name or give the child two names with the strange name as the middle name. That certainly would potentially eliminate the embarrassment factor, but the problem is that you aren’t really naming the child after the person in that case.
So if the actual name will be embarrassing to the child, the best thing to do, it seems, is just choose another name.
— Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier, founder of The Shmuz
* * * * *
The Gemara relates that Rabbi Meir was particularly sensitive to the significance of people’s names and how names identify and affect who a person is.
Jewish mysticism explains that a name is the vehicle G-d uses to invest His energy into the person. The Midrash Tanchuma says one should call one’s child “by a name befitting righteousness.”
The Arizal goes a step further and writes that though we may think we’re giving our children names that appeal to us, in reality “the name that parents choose for a child is not random happenstance; rather G-d places a name in their mouths that is indicative of this soul’s source…”
Igros Moshe states categorically that “one should not change from the custom to name one’s child after an ancestor from a previous generation…certainly where applicable, one should name a child after one’s own parents whom he or she is actually obligated to honor.”
It’s a great satisfaction and merit for the soul when its descendants bear its name. If indeed the name sounds strange to modern ears, then a suitable compromise would be to add a name. Hence, if the name was Yenta, add the name Chaya and the girl in question can choose to always be identified as Chaya.
Her soul will still bear the name of the loved one, thereby infusing her with the spiritual energy associated with the loved one; respect has been given to the loved one; and all social stigmas have been averted – at least until her kesubah is read under the chuppah and the truth comes out.
— Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, popular Lubavitch
lecturer, rabbi of London’s Mill Hill Synagogue
(Editor’s note: Rabbi Marc Angel’s responses will again appear on these pages in a month’s time, G-d willing.)