It is proper to be an honest, upstanding person, who provides as best as possible for the upbringing of one’s children.
Parents are faced with many challenges in raising their families, including the enormous financial pressures relating to yeshiva/day school tuitions and the high cost of sleepaway camp. The ideal from a practical and religious point of view is to live within one’s means. Children need to understand the possibilities – and limitations – of their parents’ financial situation.
If parents are in fact financially unable to pay full tuition so that it’s necessary to apply for financial aid, then they are not in a financial condition to afford sleepaway camp for their children. The children need to be given affordable options e.g., day camps, summer groups, summer school. Yes, there are social pressures to send kids to sleepaway camps – but parents and kids need to overcome these pressures and do what is financially appropriate for them.
There are cases, unfortunately, where people live well beyond their means but then apply for tuition assistance and expect charity dollars to cover the difference. Aside from being a morally and financially problematic practice, this is unfair to all others who struggle to pay full fare. When it becomes “normal” to evade full payment, then the whole system suffers. People falsify their financial records in order to let others defray tuition and/or camp costs.
It would be best if tuition and camp costs were kept at reasonable levels so that most people could actually afford to pay full fare without going deep into debt. It would also be best if everyone paid what they honestly can afford, and not apply for tuition or camp assistance unless absolutely necessary. If the day school/yeshiva/camp system could rely on everyone living up to the highest religious and financial standards, life would be better for all families…and for the entire system.
– Rabbi Marc D. Angel is director of the Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals.
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This is a loaded question that routinely comes up in tuition assistance application forms. The simple answer is that chinuch must be the number one priority of every Jewish parent. It is true that there was a time when parents did not buy homes or take vacations because their earnings were first spent on their children’s yeshivah education. That has changed, which led one of my members who was active in local schools to tell me more than once that “we don’t have a tuition crisis; we have a priorities crisis.”
There is something wrong, even immoral, with parents who rely on scholarship assistance (read: other people’s money), and yet go on vacation during yeshiva break (because they too need to relax) or have the grandparents take them to an expensive hotel for Pesach (because it’s the grandparents’ money and they have a right to spend it as they please). They do, but still…
From this perspective, sleepaway camp for children who receive tuition assistance is an extravagance, and justly raises the ire of other parents and the scholarship committees.
Nonetheless, that is the simple answer, and reality does not always accord with the simple. There are cogent arguments to be made for sleepaway camp even in such circumstances: camp is also educational, it is important socially, and what else are working parents supposed to do with their children during the summer? They need to be supervised in a productive setting.
It is a real conundrum. Is it proper? It is a bad look, to be sure, but sometimes it is necessary. As such, it must be resolved on an individual case by case basis, with the predominant obligation always that parents are primarily responsible for their children’s tuition. That is their priority in parenting.
– Rav Steven Pruzansky is Israel region Vice President of the Coalition for Jewish Values and author of six books, including the recent “Road to Redemption,” available at Kodeshpress.com.
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One who accepts tzedakah should not spend money on things that are considered unnecessary luxuries. However, if the things one spends money on are considered normal expenditures in the society one lives in, then it is ok. Consequently, if the tuition assistance is in keeping with the bracket of income that person is in and the expenditure of sleepaway camp in that society is a normal expenditure for that bracket of income, then sending one’s child to sleepaway camp is not problematic. In addition, if in the society one lives it is a norm for children to be sent to sleepaway camp and not sending your child will make him an object of ridicule or pity, it is not fair to your child not to send him.
If, however, in the society one lives there are diverse norms as to which outlets exist for summer vacation and it is normal for some to send to day camps, then one on tuition assistance should strive to save money by exercising that option so they can pay more tuition. However, another consideration my wife raised is the affect the sleepaway camp experience could have on the child. Sometimes the experience is so positive that it literally can make a significant change for the good in a child’s life. In such a case the money is well spent even at the detriment to tuition.
– Rabbi Zev Leff is rav of Moshav Matisyahu and a popular lecturer and educator.
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There are a few points to consider when addressing this issue.
First is the goal of the sleepaway camp. Many sleepaway camps provide both educational and cultural opportunities for our Jewish children. They provide structure, including tefillah and learning programs, beyond some of the usual programs available or possible at Jewish day camps. Sleepaway camps often create opportunities that further a child’s school experience. They also help foster independence in children, something much needed in today’s day and age.
Second, it may also depend on the child. A child whose friends are all attending sleepaway camp may have a difficult summer socially and emotionally with their friends away. In today’s world, we see how these social and emotional aspects affect our children, even beyond the summer.
That being said, sleepaway camps are often costly – some of them double the cost of local summer day camps, with extra costs related to sending a child to sleepaway camp. A family receiving tuition assistance can be expected to balance costly expenditures. It’s possible that an open conversation with the school providing the financial support might be appropriate. It may also matter how much assistance the family is receiving. Ultimately, these different factors need to be taken into consideration by the family making this decision, and whether it is proper or not really depends on the circumstances.
– Rabbi Nathan Dweck is the mashgiach ruchani and Judaic studies teacher at Barkai Yeshivah’s Middle School in Brooklyn, NY. He serves as the high school minyan rabbi and Torah programming director at Congregation Beth Torah. He is also the executive director of Tebah Educational Services.
