The music at many, if not most, weddings is definitely too loud. Such loud music is medically damaging, and it is shocking that it is tolerated in the Orthodox community.
We have a halachic obligation to preserve our health, and ba’alei simcha are forbidden from harming their guests. This thoughtless practice, a pure imitation of non-Jewish ways, must stop.
– Rabbi Chaim Jachter is a prominent rabbi who serves as the rabbi at Congregation Shaarei Orah, the Sephardic Congregation of Teaneck, and is a popular Torah teacher at the Torah Academy of Bergen County. He also serves as a Dayan on the Beth Din of Elizabeth and has acquired an international reputation of excellence in the area of Get administration. He has authored sixteen books on issues ranging from contemporary Halacha, Tanach, Aggada, and Jewish Thought all available on Amazon.
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I just attended a wedding of one of my former students and as always the music was deafening. If you are dancing you might not notice it as much but if you are sitting and trying to converse with someone, it is literally impossible to hear.
Some parents come to these semachot in which their young children were also invited, making sure that the children are wearing ear plugs to prevent any danger of damaging their hearing.
Having said that, it seems at least for the younger generation that this is the norm, and they actually enjoy this booming music at their semachot.
There is no right or wrong in this matter. However, if you are like me, you might try to remember to bring earplugs to these semachot. You still will not be able to converse with anyone but at least you might save yourself from going deaf!
– Rabbi Mordechai Weiss lives in Efrat, Israel, and previously served as an elementary and high school principal in New Jersey and Connecticut. He was also the founder and rav of Young Israel of Margate, N.J. His email is [email protected].
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Years ago the music was more real, what one heard was the actual instrumentation with little if any amplification. Personally there was more class to such music. Jewish music over time seems to have evolved and today the sound parallels that of today’s contemporary secular music. An integral component to this style seems to be music at deafening decibels.
I remember, a number of years ago one of my good friends, an audiologist, made a wedding for a child and while he couldn’t buck the trend of loud music, he considerately dispensed ear plugs for all his guests. He couldn’t change the music but he could soften the impact.
According to the National Institutes of Health and the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, exposure to music or any sound above 85 decibels for prolonged periods will result in some hearing loss.
On the one hand, there is the mitzvah to celebrate with the chasan and kallah or the bar mitzvah, but there is also the mitzvah (Devarim 4:15) “V’nishmartem me’od l’nafshoseichem – Take heed of yourself [guard your health].”
The Torah (Vayikra 19:18) states “V’ahavta l’re’acha kamocha – one is to love his fellow as yourself.” In the Talmud (Shabbos 31a) Hillel proclaims this as a fundamental rule of the Torah. Indeed, we must be considerate of our fellow’s needs and surely his health.
It is my considered opinion that parents should have a discussion with their young couples or bar mitzvah boys as to the lasting effects of loud music. Music can be beautiful even if it is not deafening!
– Rabbi Yaakov Klass is chairman of the Presidium of the Rabbinical Alliance of America; rav of Congregation K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush, Brooklyn; and Torah Editor of The Jewish Press. He can be contacted at [email protected] and [email protected].
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Yes, I think the music at frum weddings is too loud. It’s inevitable that I’ll soon be one of those older guys who wears earplugs during the dancing, which is a shame, because that will only make it harder to shmooze in the outer dance circles.
Note, though, that what I think about the music makes no difference, unless I’m the one paying the band. The one who pays the piper calls the tune, and, in this case, the volume of the tune.
– Rabbi Elli Fischer is a translator, writer, and historian. He edits Rav Eliezer Melamed’s Peninei Halakha in English, cofounded HaMapah, a project to quantify and map rabbinic literature, and is a founding editor of Lehrhaus. Follow him @adderabbi on Twitter or listen to his podcast, “Down the Rabbi Hole.”
