Might This Be A Dangerous Chiyuv For Many Teens – And Even Many Adults?
There’s certainly no obligation for each male to get drunk on Purim. In fact, Mishna Brurah brings down the ideal way to fulfill ad lo yado (until you no longer know the distinction) is to take a short nap. That way the obligation is fulfilled without any problems of excess.
As an aside, especially in our day and age, I think some careful thinking about one’s drinking is warranted. We live in a time of such excess and such abundance that unfortunately there are very many situations where people find themselves with serious drinking problems. At many kiddushim it seems to be a regular occurrence that people come home drunk. And especially with younger people, it becomes a grave concern. For that reason, it’s a wise idea to carefully look at one’s drinking, and if parents have children at home they should speak to them about drinking.
Certainly, it’s ok to drink on occasion. On Purim I don’t see anything wrong with getting inebriated and fully drunk, provided that one is a happy drunk and in a good way. But it is something that needs to be very much limited to such occasions; once a year is reasonable, once a Shabbat is not. Unfortunately, in our communities this is becoming more and more of a problem. I think it’s important for all of us to look at our drinking. And especially if one has children, it is important to educate them as to what is considered appropriate and moderate, and what is considered excessive.
Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier is founder of The Shmuz and author of 10 Really Dumb Mistakes That Very Smart Couples Make (available at theshmuz.com).
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The Talmud (Megillah 7b) cites the following ruling: “Rabbah said; one is required to imbibe on Purim to a point of intoxication that one may not differentiate between ‘Arur Haman (cursed is Haman) and Baruch Mordechai (blessed be Mordechai).’”
As we will see, there is a very fine line as to level of intoxication one must achieve to fulfill this obligation.
The Talmud continues: “Rabbah and R’ Zera joined together for the Purim feast. They became so intoxicated that Rabbah slaughtered R’ Zera. On the next day he sought mercy on his behalf and he revived him. The following year Rabbah asked R’ Zera to again join him for the Purim seudah. The latter declined, explaining: “Not every day do miracles occur.”
Rabbah had the sense that one must be very meticulous in the performance of the mitzvah, to the degree of mesiras nefesh – self-sacrifice – only the self-sacrifice here was not of himself but his fellow. However, being the tzaddik that he was he had the ability to beseech Hashem for a miracle.
There is a lesson here, and the wisest of all men, King Solomon, in his Koheles (7:16), expresses it best: “Al tehi tzaddik harbeih – Do not be overly righteous.”
In everything one does there is the need to take extra care to stay within the level of moderation. And as we are all warned, don’t drink and drive. Wishing all a joyous Purim and an end to the suffering of our dear brothers and sisters who are still being held hostage with their imminent release. Please G-d.
– Rabbi Yaakov Klass is chairman of the Presidium of the Rabbinical Alliance of America; rav of Congregation K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush, Brooklyn; and Torah Editor of The Jewish Press. He can be contacted at [email protected] and [email protected].
