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For all our technological innovations and uncanny advancements, there is still one thing we have absolutely no control over – the weather. Last week freezing weather enveloped much of the United States, bringing dangerously frigid temperatures. It was bone-chillingly cold.

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And now just a few days later, we enjoyed a couple of days of bright sixty degrees sunshine – unusually warm for February. Go figure.

Last week, on Friday morning, when the temperatures were in the single digits and windchills around zero, I pulled into a gas station in New Jersey. (The state of New Jersey doesn’t trust its citizens to fill up their own gas, so there is no self-service anywhere in the state.) The attendant, dressed in a few layers, was jumping around and practically dancing as he approached my car. When I rolled down my window, I heard blaring music. The attendant gaily asked me how he could help me. When I asked him to fill up, he spun around and jumped up and down as he inserted the nozzle into the tank.

As I drove away, I couldn’t stop thinking about the dancing gas attendant. It was a freezing morning, a perfect day for someone who works outside to be grumpy and miserable. Yet he was chipper and energetic. Why? Because instead of grumbling about reality, he embraced it.

How often do we try to live life on our terms, even when the reality of the situation is clearly otherwise?

Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev was once walking with a group of his chassidim. At one point he asked his assemblage, “Do you know what I would do if I was G-d?” The group stopped walking, and it was dead silent. Everyone leaned in with wide eyes to hear the great secret that the rebbe would reveal. After a long moment the rebbe smiled and announced, “If I were G-d, I would… do exactly what He’s doing!”

The Rebbe’s insight is very compelling. If he were G-d, he would understand how everything happening was exactly as it needed to be. The reason we struggle so much is because we are not privy to divine knowledge and therefore cannot understand how everything is for the best and is exactly as it should be.

In his typical humorous fashion, Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky once quipped: “I don’t want to be G-d; I don’t like the hours!”

We want things to go our way and to be comprehensible and logical to our finite minds. But the reality is more often not that way.

One of the most important keys to living a life of inner peace is to be able to have acceptance. That in no way precludes the need for one to do all he can – an adequate hishtadlus. But once one has done so, once he has done his research, invested all the energy he could, and has davened (and davened again) he can have peace of mind and rest assured that G-d knows exactly what He’s doing, and things are as they should be.

This is by no means an easy level to achieve. But those who seem to live with serenity are those who accept life on its terms, for good or for better. They aren’t frustrated by their futile attempts to force things to be how they feel it should be. They know that G-d loves them and only wants the best for them, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

When I grow up, that’s what I want to be!


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Rabbi Dani Staum is a popular speaker, columnist and author. He is a rebbe in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, NJ, and principal of Mesivta Orchos Yosher in Spring Valley, NY. Rabbi Staum is also a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding. He can be reached at [email protected] and at strivinghigher.com.