For a number of years, my walk to shul each Shabbos took me past the local golf course.
Apparently, one need not be a very skillful golfer to patronize that golf course. During our uphill trek to shul, we often peruse the area searching for golf balls that not only missed their holes but also cleared the high trees and the road at the edge of the golf course.
When we would arrive home from shul, our children would proudly add the newfound golf balls to their burgeoning collection.
For a time, the golf ball collection sat at the base of a bush in front of our home. Each morning our younger children would look to see if the golf balls had rooted so that our golf ball tree had begun growing. To their disappointment, it never happened. The most movement the golf balls had was when some of them dropped down a gopher hole.
Unlike the stagnant and inorganic golf balls, however, our shuls and homes will soon be filled with verdant and beautiful flowers and greenery. Undoubtedly the ones who most “enjoy” Shavuos (or at least pre-Shavuos) are Tenuvah, J & J, HaOlam and the other dairy companies. But florists come in at a close second.
It’s fascinating that those flowers that so beautifully and regally adorn our homes throughout Yom Tov are wilting and withering soon after. Even the most robust and verdant flowers are limited in how long they can remain fresh.
The truth is that it is for that very reason that flowers are so apropos as a symbolic custom on Shavuos. Someone once quipped that women don’t love flowers even though they die; women love flowers because they die. In other words, because flowers die and have to be replaced, the beauty of flowers represents the need for constant and continual investment.
Flowers symbolize the need for constant effort to maintain and build even the best relationships. When one allows his/her marriage to operate on status quo, the relationship becomes stagnant and wilted. Relationships are organic and constantly developing, unlike inorganic golf balls that remain the same wherever they may find themselves.
Shavuos is not merely a celebration of receiving the Torah, but also the context of how it was given – like a wedding between a choson and a kallah. One’s Torah and mitzvah observance cannot merely be done out of rote. Such service becomes trite and boring. Like any relationship, it needs constant freshness and excitement to maintain the passion and connection.
When one attends a wedding, it is clear to all who the kallah is. She is the one in the big white gown in the center of everything. However, it’s not as obvious who the choson is. Sometimes a few guys can be wearing white ties and may also dance in the middle more than others. The best way to identify the choson is to wait until the end of the wedding. The one who leaves the hall along with the kallah is undoubtedly the choson.
The kallah of the Jewish people is the holy Torah. Who is the choson of the Torah? Whoever takes the kallah home!
The flowers of Shavuos serve their purpose. And then the flowers of the following Shabbos need to take their place, with that same beauty and excitement.
