Should a parent encourage a child who wants to join the U.S. Army?
It has long been observed that parents must give their children roots…and wings. We want our children to be deeply attached to our traditions, our family’s values and ideals. We also want them to grow into strong, healthy human beings who will live as responsible adults.
If a child has reached the age and maturity level where he/she wants to join the U.S. army, parents would want to know what has motivated this decision. Is it from idealism and patriotism? Is it due to peer pressure? Is it an escape from current life patterns? Has the child given full thought to how army service will impact on religious observance?
It is right and proper for parents to have candid discussions with a child who wants to join the army. It is important to listen to the child…and listen very carefully. It is important to share one’s pride, concerns, and fears. But ultimately, it is important to let the child make his/her own decision.
If after serious thought the child has decided to join the army, parents should be supportive. American military history includes many Jewish soldiers and officers who have served their country with distinction and courage. They have brought honor to their families and to their country.
Grown children have the right and responsibility to make decisions that will impact their own lives. We pray that they will be faithful to their roots and family traditions; and that they will spread their own wings in ways that will bring blessing to themselves and others.
– Rabbi Marc D. Angel is director of the Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals.
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Throughout the exile, Jews have always served in the military of our host country (sometimes voluntarily, sometimes coerced). In its ideal expression, service in the U.S. military repays the United States for the hospitality and graciousness it has shown to the Jewish people, particularly in allowing massive Jewish immigration at the turn of the 20th century. This provided Jews with a haven when Europe became even more threatening and inhospitable. We must always appreciate the malchut shel chesed (the kingdom of kindness) that welcomed millions of Jews in a way that other nations did not while ensuring our freedoms and rights. Contributing to its security conveys our gratitude in an honorable way.
Certainly, there will be hardships for Jews in the American military – Shabbat, kashrut, etc. – so the recruit will need tremendous spiritual fortitude to withstand those challenges.
But young Jews who wish to become soldiers are better advised to enlist in the Israel Defense Forces. Notwithstanding America’s kindnesses, why fight to prolong the exile when you can fight to defend Jewish sovereignty in our divinely ordained homeland? Indeed, the IDF soldier fulfills three mitzvot that cannot be fulfilled by the soldier in any other army: the settlement of Eretz Yisrael, preserving Jewish life (pikuach nefesh), and kiddush Hashem, the sanctification of G-d’s name implicit in the Jewish people exercising sovereignty over our homeland. And mitzvah observance in the IDF is much easier.
The fulfillment of those mitzvot transforms our lives. It is common today for young American Jews to enlist in the IDF, especially after their year or two learning in Israel. Parents should encourage interested children to join the Israel army if they are inclined to join a military. Nevertheless, we appreciate their service in any military that is a force for good in the world.
– Rav Steven Pruzansky is Israel region Vice President of the Coalition for Jewish Values and author of six books, including the recent “Road to Redemption,” available at Kodeshpress.com.
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The answer to this question is obviously dependent on many factors. 1. Why does the child want to take such a step? 2. What other options exist for this child? 3. What will be the impact of such a step on his future – spiritually, physically and materially? Only after considering all these factors can one decide whether to encourage or discourage that specific child from joining the U.S. Army.
As far as one’s obligation to one’s country of residence, especially a country so good to Jews as the United States, one can fulfill that obligation by contributing as a productive citizen which may, in many cases, accomplish more for the welfare of the country than serving in the armed forces.
– Rabbi Zev Leff is rav of Moshav Matisyahu and a popular lecturer and educator.
