I have just returned from a mission to Israel. The women that I teach joined me as we visited with those who are bravely grappling with their losses suffered on October 7. We listened to the heartbreak. We spent time at the Shura Base, learning how the bodies of those who were massacred, violated and murdered were given the dignity in death that they did not receive in life. Soldiers by the hundreds upon hundreds were brought, requiring a final chesed shel emes. Those who were murdered at the Nova festival and their kibbutzim. We met with the broken-hearted, widows, mothers of fallen soldiers, parents of terror victims. We met them all. There was one night that I returned back to the hotel and my husband asked me how my day went. I could not speak. I simply broke down into tears.
How do we continue in a world filled with such vile hatred for the Jew? Rocket attacks, worldwide protests, and threats of our annihilation poison the very air we breathe. From where can we find the resilience to overcome the terror?
“Bechol dor vedor omdim aleinu lechaloseinu – In every generation they attempt to annihilate us.”
Notice that we do not speak in the past tense. ‘Omdim alainu’ – they stand against us attempting to wipe us off the face of this earth. As we sit down to our seder, we discover the eternal secret of the Jew.
The haggadah is communicating with us, retelling our story so that we not grow afraid. “Dear Jew, listen to me! You are experiencing the pain of our people. You are journeying the same path as those who walked before you. Know who you are. Plug into your roots. Recognize your strength. Impart your story to yourself so that you may share it with your children and the generations to come. The sippur of Mitzrayim is not over. It continues from continent to continent. This is your legacy! You shall endure!”
We traveled to Kever Rochel with Racheli Frankel. Ten years ago it was she who was searching for her lost son as one of the ‘three mothers’ whose sons were taken. She shared her tragic story with us. Racheli said that she was sure that the neshamos that are prayed for somehow know while they are sitting alone in captivity or pain, that others are praying for them. Her eyes spoke of the immense pain she was carrying on her heart. She recalled the night that the police knocked on her door. She remembers checking her son’s bed only to find that he was shockingly not under the covers.
Every parent’s nightmare.
I told Racheli that at the time of her child’s disappearance I had written her a public letter. Every Pesach we ask the question ‘Who knows four?’ at our seder. ‘Arbah emahos – four are the mothers’ we say.
I turned to Racheli. You believed that you were 3 mothers but no, you were four! Because on that horrible long journey there was another mother waiting for her child to come home. Rachel Emeinu is crying even now. Rachel mevakah al baneha. Mama Rachel who is joining you, crying for you and your child as she weeps bitter tears. Al benaha ki einenu – for her children who ‘are not’. The child who is not home. He is missing spiritually. Physically. Emotionally.
You are not three mothers. You are four. Standing tall with Mama Rochel. She will not stop crying and pleading until all the children come home.
And here we are. Once again waiting for children who were snatched to return home. The salt water on our seder table can be filled with all our tears.
How do we go on?
Seder night we make an interesting sandwich. Matzah, marror and a sprinkle of charoses. More than a sandwich this is our life message from Hillel whose instructions we follow.
Hillel, the great sage lived in the time of the Romans, when Jewish life was threatened. Hillel is guiding us till today.
Here is my formula for living through difficult times. If you only hold onto the marror moments you will not make it. You will succumb to the fear and pain. Make a sandwich! Take the matzah, a symbol of Hashem’s love for us, His nation. In one second we were lifted from bondage to freedom. Geulah comes in an instant!
Take your marror moments and sprinkle them with a little sweet charoses. See your blessings. They will dilute the heartache. Recognize the good in your life. The brave warriors of our nation who live and die for Am Yisrael with love. The gift of Eretz Yisrael. The giggle of a child, the grasp of an infant holding onto your finger. The miracle of our nation.
Now make a sandwich and place the matzah of faith on either end. Hashem loves us. Never forget it.
Retell our story at your seder table. No enemy can ever extinguish our light. We are determined to live.
Leshana Haba’ah B’Yerushalayim.
