This past week I celebrated my youngest sons bar mitzva. This event was a very special one for many reasons. My son who was severely injured at the age of 3, leaving him completely disabled, turned 13 this past week.
About a month and a half ago I decided that although my son can’t do all the mizvot that a Jewish boy has when he turns 13, such as putting on tefillin by himself or being able to do the reading from the Torah of that week, just because he is disabled, doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t have a beautiful event like any healthy child has.
Throughout the years of taking care of such a special needs child I believe that he understands all that is going on, he just doesn’t have the ability to express himself. And I was determined to make him as happy as I could.
But how do I do it? Most of the people I told that I was going to make him a big party thought I was mad. “Why,” they asked. “He can’t do anything, why waste your time and money?” To me this was of no concern. My son was going to have a beautiful bar mitzvah.
Since my son was born healthy and lived in the old city of Jerusalem till his tragic injury, I felt that there was no better place to have the celebration than in the place where he was born, healthy.
I ran around looking for just the perfect place. The prices were astronomical and I didn’t know what to do. I turned to my mother for support and she was more than happy to help, but still the cost for the event that I was trying to put together was way out of my ballpark. But when I set out to accomplish something I don’t let the details get in the way of my dreams and I kept on dreaming of that perfect bar mitzvah.
One afternoon I decided to go to the old city and look around again for places I might have missed on my search before. I walked up and down every possible street, to no avail. So I continued to my favorite spot, the Kotel. I was so thankful to Hashem that I had a son to plan a bar mitzvah for, no matter the circumstances, and I had great faith in the one above that he wouldn’t let me down. I had brought up my eight children in the old city, so after leaving the Kotel I climbed up a set of stairs that only someone who has lived in the Rova of the old city would be familiar with. They are steep stairs and hard to walk up and they lead directly to a yeshiva building. I had walked by that yeshiva many times and never thought about it. But on this day there was someone standing outside and I seized the moment and asked if they cater bar mitzvahs in the building. He showed me around and told me who was in charge of all events there. I immediately contacted the person in charge and explained about my special needs son and the bar mitzvah that I was trying to put together. He said he would be more than happy to try to help out, but it takes time to find a donor who would want to sponsor this wonderful event. I didn’t have much time, since the bar mitzvah was just around the corner.
I prayed to Hashem and he sent me a wonderful message three days later. At 5 in the morning, I got the message that there is a donor who wishes to remain anonymous. What beautiful people. These very special people who donated this celebration are truly one with G-d. They are using the abundant gifts that were given to them from above, to help a perfect stranger, to do a big Mitzvah. These are the true colors of the children of Hashem.
Later that week I met with someone from the yeshiva, who introduced me to the two young women who were in charge of seeing that the event runs smoothly. They became my right hands in organizing the event itself at the Yeshiva. They were amazing. I was excited beyond words. The certain someone from the yeshiva turned to me and said, “I have so many requests that come to my desk daily; I have no explanation as to why your request was answered and in such a short time. He lifted his head up and pointed with his finger at the sky, and said, “This is just the doing of G-d; no other reason makes sense.” That is exactly how I felt. It is written that “in the path that one chooses to go, he receives help from heaven.”
The bar mitzvah day arrived. The weather was very cold and it had rained almost all week long, and a major storm was on its way. Everyone was very concerned. I told them, “G-d who organized this bar mitzvah will organize the weather as well.” And sure enough there was sun and blue skies for the duration of the entire celebration. That evening the storm came, which just made the wonders of this bar mitzvah shine even more so.
We had a parade of trumpets and music to which we danced all the way to the Kotel. At the Kotel we put on tefillin for my son, and some of his cousins read from that week’s portion of the Torah. We then all went over to the yeshiva’s beautiful building where a feast was set up for us by the amazing staff who didn’t leave a single thing out. They even gave my son a gorgeous stone carving of the 3rd temple with a dedication to my son on it with his name engraved on the side. The place was exquisitely decorated with lovely flowers and candles on each table. Everyone was speechless and overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement. Mr. Yehuda Katz, a great Carlebach follower, came to sing and perform. The excitement was palpable.
In life, it is so important to do what you think is right. Not always do we have support, or even any idea of how we will accomplish something we really believe is the right thing to do. However, we must try, and above all we must believe that Hashem is with us and helping it all to happen. So continue to dream and hope and above all believe that G-d is always with you, making your dreams come true.
