Throughout life we are constantly taught to be strong. To believe in G-d, to have faith, and to always remember that everything is for the best even if we can’t see it.
This is easy to do if you are not experiencing a dark moment or a hard experience. It’s easy to do if you need to give advice to somebody else who’s going through a hard time.
This is also easy to do while sitting in a classroom environment listening to a good speech from a great rabbi. I too am great at giving advice. However, when it comes to adapting the good words I have for others onto myself and my own experiences I seem to fall short and be at a loss of how to act or how to react.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to own a home of their own, many people spend a lot of years renting and moving from place to place.
There was once a very wealthy man who came to the Rabbi and told him that he was concerned about his share in the next world.
“Rabbi, I never had any trouble in life. I always had money, my kids are healthy, my children got married, I have a good marriage and I have everything I need.
“What will be in the world to come. Did I lose my portion?”
The rabbi asked him, “Have you ever moved apartments or homes?”
“Of course, Rabbi. Many times. I had to move often.”
The Rabbi reassured him that he had nothing to worry about because having to move often is one of the greatest aggravations.
I have had many challenges in my life. One of them is that I don’t own a home or apartment, and every few years I have to move. The last place I moved into about two years ago, was heaven for me, and I planned to stay there for as long as possible. Obviously, Hashem thought otherwise.
There is an expression that states give a woman a house and she will make it into a home. I’ve made this house into a beautiful home.
In every corner of the house you can see and feel my personal touch, the love I put into making it pretty, the hard work to make sure that whoever comes to my home will feel loved and comfortable. Anyone who comes into my home feels the energy of love, and yet for reasons I cannot understand, my landlord is not continuing my lease, forcing me to find another home.
This might sound easy to do, but it is actually very draining. I look up at the sky many nights and wonder what Hashem wants from me. How could Hashem want me to move again? Is He not happy with all the work I do in this house?
Is Hashem not happy with the hachnasat orchim I do every Shabbos? Anyone who needs a meal can always come to my house. Anyone who’s tired always has a place to rest here.
I know that we can’t see the whole picture and this is where my faith has to come in. Everything will be even better for me, though I can’t see what’s in store.
This past weekend I met the new tenant who is supposed to move into my apartment. She is a sweet young woman, who is pregnant and due in a couple of months. She said she is really waiting for me to find my own place so that she can move in, and hopefully it will be before she gives birth.
She pleaded, “Please do everything in your power so we can move in.” She had tears in her eyes as she told me her name and asked me to please pray for her and everything will go well.
She told me that she has no anger in her heart but that she must move in already, but since I haven’t found a place yet, that makes it so difficult. It’s very hard to find something in the neighborhood we both live in. We stood there with tears in our eyes wishing both our prayers will be answered.
Sometimes it is so difficult to believe that there is a better plan, and that G-d is running the show and not me, nor this lady nor my landlord.
I simply have no solutions for anyone.
However, in the blink of an eye Hashem can change it all. We are so caught up in the physical moment and the pain and the emotions we want to see past it.
I put all my thoughts down on paper so that I can get strength from my readers, to keep believing that something good will come my way soon and both I and that sweet young lady will find our homes once again.
